


I Could Use A Love Song

by Angryniall



Category: niall horan - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Niall Horan - Freeform, one direction - Freeform, plus size
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-10-28 18:57:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 34,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17792903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angryniall/pseuds/Angryniall
Summary: Sam has never been in love, every guy she’s been with is too ashamed of her being fat to even date her. Niall’s been crushed by love and doesn’t want to get his heart broken again. Neither are looking for love, but when Sam takes a position as an assistant to the tour manager of the Flicker World Tour, the universe might have other ideas.





	1. The One With the Job Offer

Sam had never been the type of girl who got the guy. In a movie, she’d be the overweight (in all the wrong places) friend who gives her friend a shoulder to cry on and encourages her to get with the right guy, but her story never ends in her finding love.

Granted, it’s also how her life has gone her entire 25 years. Her friends have guys come in, they fall in love, fall out of love, and they all use her as a relationship extraordinaire for advice. When she was younger, she didn’t mind, she loved helping her friends and she also secretly loved the gossip she would be privy to.

But as she grew older, she noticed how things changed. The right men came along for her friends: the ones who were funny and caring and before she knew it, the girls she used to invite over for sleepovers, who would stay awake all night whispering about the cute guys at school, became parents.

Suddenly, things were different. The phone calls became sparse, the visits even fewer, even though she had never left her hometown, taking advantage of the local community college and the free living situation home provided. The few times they found to get together, her old friends would give her smiles that never quite reached their eyes as they told her that she’d find someone soon, offering to set her up with their husbands co-worker.

Sam felt guilty, but she started to pull back. It’s not that she was unattractive. At least-she didn’t feel that way about herself. When she looked in the mirror, she was content about herself. She wouldn’t win any beauty pageants, especially not with her stomach rolls or her thighs that seemed to chafe everytime she wore a dress, but she liked herself. The issue was, the type of guys who wanted to fuck her never really liked her.

They wouldn’t mind staying in bed for days on end, begging her to just skip her classes for them but when she’d ask to go to a bar or meet their friends, suddenly they were too busy. They only wanted her body, never to actually date her or even get to know her beyond the bedroom.

Honestly, it was getting to her. Sam always had big dreams, but life got in the way every time. She couldn’t afford her dream school, or even her in-state backup and stayed in her town. She works a dead-end job, even though she’s about to graduate with her bachelors. It seems pointless and a waste of her time, energy, and money when she thinks about the fact that she’ll never get a job in this town anyway and she can’t afford to move out on her own without a well paying job lined up.

“Happy graduation to me,” Sam sighs as she sits down at her desk, trying to force herself to finish this essay that’s due to turnitin before 11:59:00 tonight. This and 2 finals are all that’s standing between her and this degree. This useless, expensive degree.

Sam runs her fingers through her brunette hair, pulling it up into a ponytail as she gets to work, putting all her knowledge about what makes a successful manager into this essay and reading and re-reading what she’s written, trying to get it to flow and make sense.

At 11:57, with 2 minutes to spare, she turns her essay in and heads to her parent’s kitchen to treat herself to a concoction of hot chocolate and a shot of fireball. As she gets her drink ready, the girl’s thoughts turn to her business principles exam, trying to remember all the details without having to look at her notes.

As Sam heads back into her room, she starts wondering what jobs are really out there. If she could be anything, what would she be?

When she was younger, she’d say she wanted to dig up dinosaurs or work at a museum. In high school, she gravitated towards science and pre-med, but in college, she settled into business classes, feeling like she found her calling.

Except a business degree isn’t like a medical degree. There’s not a defined set of occupations you could be. It’s basically a glorified “get into an office” degree. She could be in any industry, any city, be anything.

Tour manager. She heard in the back of her head, almost surprising her. Sam always loved music, finding the things she needed to hear in lyrics and melodies calming her on even the rockiest nights. She always spent her limited disposable income on concerts, enjoying seeing the songs that have pulled her out of life’s funks or celebrated her best days live. She loved sets where she could see the emotion written on the artist’s faces, knowing that the songs meant just as much to them as it does to her.

If she could help create that experience for someone else? Yeah, that would be a dream.

The fireball ran through her as she found herself googling tour managers at the major recording labels and management companies. She had nothing to lose right? Sam dug around and took guesses at email addresses and sent out about a dozen emails, all explaining her love for music and passion for wanting to help create concerts and begging-in a professional way- for them to give her advice on how to get where they’re at.

Sam looked at the clock blinking 4 am as she crawled into bed and shut her computer, figuring she’s not getting any replies, especially at this time of the night, as she rests up before her busy day of studying the following day.

——-

Niall’s the type of guy that all the girls fall for. He’s charming and charismatic, it’s almost effortless for him to flirt with every girl that comes in his path.

Not that he really had to have a personality, being in the biggest band in the world a few years ago. He knew status like that could get him a girl if he wanted.

But Niall was a romantic at heart, he wanted that great love he’s seen in movies. The type that he’d imagine as his favorite love songs flowed, wondering if he’d ever be able to actually connect with the lyrics.

Perhaps him wanting to find that kind of love so bad was what ended in failed relationship after failed relationship. He’d meet someone, fall for her quickly and start imagining the two of them lasting, him finally being able to find someone who he could trust with all his secrets, his experiences, and his shame and who he could be the person they trust with theirs.

But all his relationships fizzled out quickly. A few months of intense feelings, traveling around the globe to see each other just for a day, before something would happen. The distance is too much. They never see each other. He’s too busy. At least those excuses he could handle. The last one was what really broke him. I still love him.

Niall shakes his head, running his hands through his damp hair, remembering he showered to get away from the thoughts of the relationship that inspired this whole album. The one he got his hopes up for someone who was never able to fully commit. The embarrassing moments when he practically begged her to open up to him and the time she finally did that made him realize that while he was falling in love with her, all she wanted was to use him to get over her ex. Except she couldn’t, and didn’t, and ended up right back with him not even a week after leaving Niall’s place for good.

The pain inspired him to write the album, but now he was about to embark on a tour for it. A tour where he had to try his hardest to pretend his heartbreak was all in the past, even though he knew it changed him. He didn’t want to fall for the type of girl who would break his heart anymore and the only way to avoid that is to be single.

Sam’s alarm clock goes off way too early for her liking. She groans and turns it off, thinking about sleeping in for just a bit more, but she knows she has to be proactive about these last 2 finals. She doesn’t want to have to take another semester at school because she failed one course.

She groans and covers her face with her hands, giving her a minute to wallow in how tired she is before grabbing a banana for breakfast and getting to work.

Sam studies for a good few hours and she only stops to check her phone after she feels confident that she knows the material for her final tomorrow. She checks her texts, most from the group chat with her 3 best friends, all talking about how Macy’s kid, Jean, has started to hold his bottle up by himself, complete with about 5 pictures of this feat. She sends a response with too many emojis congratulating the 6 month old before checking her emails.

A dozen are deleted before Sam’s eyes grow wide as she realizes she has an email from one of the guys she drunkingly emailed last night. Fuck. She thought that was a dream.

She clicks on it and just sees a phone number with “call me” underneath.

Sam bites her lip. This doesn’t happen. Nobody sends a cold email to a random guy she googled and gets a job offer.

She clicks on the number to call him before she can stop herself. She’ll never know if she doesn’t try.

“Hello?” A deep voice greets her on the 2nd ring.

Sam takes a deep breath and hopes to god he’s not going to chew her out for emailing him. “Mr. Fripper? It’s Sam Drites. I had emailed you last night.”

“Call me Kevin. You wanted to be a tour manager right?” Sam nods before remembering she’s on the phone and she can’t let her shy nature blow this for her. “Yes sir. Kevin.” She corrects herself, not wanting to be rude.

“I’m about to manage a tour. I’ve already done all the pre-planning. We have dates, venues, the stage setup, etc. but I could always use help on the day-to-day activities and making sure everything runs smoothly, everyone makes it onto stage, that kind of stuff. Would you be interested in like a shadowing opportunity?” Sam is so shocked, she almost can’t breath. She knows this is far from usual, but what she doesn’t know is that Kevin got his start in much the same way she did. He called labels, artists, anyone he could get hold of and begged for an in. Anyone who has the guts to do that deserves a chance.

“Yes.” Sam breathes out in a rush, “of course.”

Kevin nods and Sam can hear scribbling in his end. “Alright kid, I’m going to talk to Modest. We’ll have to run a background check, get some information from you, school, references, you know the drill. What’s your salary requirements?”

Sam says, truthfully, “honestly, I’d do it for free as long as I had a place to sleep every night and food.” She hears her savior’s rough laugh in the background. “Alright, we normally pay around $14 an hour, I’ll write you down for 30K. Don’t tell them I told you that, ok? At least get paid for your work. I promise it’s not as easy or fulfilling as I’m sure you’re imagining.”

Sam thanks him and is about to hang up when he asks, “before you go, how’d you get my email? It’s private, you know. Didn’t think it was on any of those job hunting sites.” Sam blushes, feeling embarrassed at how desperate she was, “I found your name and just sent it to your first initial last name at modestmanagement.com and hoped it got to you.”

Kevin laughs, impressed by how resourceful she is, “OK, fair enough. I’ll send you everything soon, we’ll try to get you on the tour for the first date.”

She thanks him and hangs up this time and heads into her parents, “I just got a job!!!!” She tells them excitedly, telling them about her dumb email idea last night and how he offered her a position to help manage and get her in the industry.

Her parents are supportive, but skeptical. They’re worried she’s being scammed. Sam tried to quash their worries, knowing that she wouldn’t go into this for real unless it was obviously a real job, with a real contract, and a tour she could at least google.

The next week is hectic for Sam. She’s got 2 finals and also is trying to get paperwork back to Kevin’s assistant. She learns the tour she’s going to help manage is Niall Horan’s. She doesn’t even have to google it, she knows who he is. His song, Slow Hands, plays every time she’s in the car.

When she received that, she thought surely this is a scam. But everything is legit. She’s talked to people at both Modest and Capital, needing to get background checks and sign NDAs and all this official legal stuff she never thought about.

The tour starts 2 weeks after graduation, which gives Sam just enough time to walk the stage, quit her job, and head to London, where tour rehearsals are before the first show in Dublin. It’s a tight schedule and Sam was worried when she read the information saying she had to be in London, since she didn’t know if she could afford the flight there. But the company is covering all transportation, so she somehow got lucky and didn’t have to back out or beg for money or work herself to death at Cracker Barrel.

——

As Sam steps off of the plane in London, it’s hard for her to believe she’s here. This is crazy for her, she’d bought her passport as soon as she turned 18. Her friends and her were planning this magical Europe backpacking trip they never got to take because Katelyn’s dad passed away and all the money they’d saved went to help her family. She received the passport, but never had a reason to use it. She always dreamed about running off one day impulsively, headed to a foreign country with cute boys. Except now she’s here and she’s getting paid to be here.

Sam goes through customs, gets her visa covered, which thankfully was able to be expiadiated since she’s working on such a large tour, and her luggage and follows the instructions she was sent by Kevin to meet the car to take her to the hotel where she’ll be staying during rehearsals. She has just enough time to drop her stuff off, take a shower, and head to the rehearsal lot.

Kevin comes out to greet her and then takes her inside and she meets the base crew. Lighting and sound techs and of course, the band and the main star.

“Nice to meet you,” Sam says, being polite and shaking everyone’s hand and trying to commit the 20-odd something crew’s names to memory.

“Kevin got himself an assistant, huh? Am I that tough of a guy to manage?” Niall jokes, bringing a bit of laughter to the exchange and making Sam feel more at ease and less anxious about the fact that she’s in another country and doesn’t know anyone.

“Well, he does require all his boxers to be ironed and pressed now.” Luke, one of Niall’s friends, jokes. Niall laughs and throws the towel hanging over his shoulder at his best friend. “Oi shut up.”

Everyone laughs and Kevin taps on Sam’s wrist, “come on, I’ll show you the ropes of what we have here. I’ve got you an iPad set up with our software so you can look around and figure out how to use it before we start. We want the tour to run absolutely smoothly.” Sam nods and follows Kevin to one of the corners of the lot, taking notes about how to work the software and all her duties. She’s relying on this job and wants to do a great job.

Niall starts strumming his guitar, talking with his band and the lads bout the tour. “Think it’ll be fun, won’t it? Kinda like the Sessions but longer.” Niall tries hard to come off confident and cool, but before he did the Flicker Sessions, he worried that he wouldn’t be able to have a tour of his own without the band. He had lots of doubts-about his future, of course, but also how he’d handle being on the road on his own.

Niall knew he and the boys in One Direction relied on each other a lot to get through the loneliness of the road. You’re away from families, friends, girlfriends, loved ones. Most of the time, you can’t even call because of time zones.

Niall comes off as confident to everyone in his vicinity, but he also knows that he’s afraid to be alone for long periods of time. That voice in his head does him in time and time again.

So, on Flicker Sessions, he curated a family. The band became his friends and his friends joined when they could. They’d go out and celebrate when they didn’t have a show the next day or stay up and play games on the bus. Plus, he was playing his shows to fans. Filled theaters that were all there to hear him perform an album he hadn’t even put out yet.

It’s because of that tour that he had the courage to do this. His album sold well, he has a #1 song on the radio, Niall feels his solo career is a success already. But he wants to keep the same vibe. One of the members of his band before had another engagement, but he has a new guy with just as much energy that he’s not worried.

All Niall wants is to go out on stage and play his songs for everyone who wants to hear and then come off stage and have a good time with his pals as they head to the next show. And he knows the best way to get that done is to befriend the people who he’ll be working with closely.

“And after this, we should head to the pub up the street, get a few pints.” He offers to the crew around him. These guys will be the ones he’ll see day in and day out, he wants to have a good relationship with them. “All my treat of course.”

The boys whoop and holler and Niall goes to invite the rest of the crew, including Kevin and his new assistant. Sam looks a bit concerned, she’s not sure how much she should interact with “the talent,” as all the forms she filled out prior to her employment called him. “It’s mandatory I’m afraid love.” Niall jokes, then puts his hands up, “unless you don’t drink of course. Could just get a water.” Niall doesn’t want to be the reason someone loses their sobriety.

Kevin agreed, so Sam feels comfortable agreeing too. She’s happy to have a chance to get to know the people she’ll be working around better and could hopefully make some friends along the way too.

——

Rehearsals are always Niall’s least favorite times of tour. He spends 12 hour days working on instruments and movement and making sure the lighting is perfect for each song. Once he’s on tour, he’ll be glad he did this, but he really prefers to just get on with the show. He did a few radio shows with just him and a guitar and that is what his ideal show would really be. Him and as many fans as wanted to see him crowded into a coffee shop with him, a guitar, and a microphone.

To unwind from the long day, he heads to the pub with his new family, wanting the new members to feel as a part of it as the people who were here for Sessions. Niall heads to the bartender and gives him a card, opening a tab for the whole crew. A few rounds of beer is the least he can do for all the effort they put into making this show work. They work a hell of a lot harder than he does and probably don’t make anything close to his paycheck.

He orders the first drink, a Guinness as he heads to one of the tables. His band mates and friends come sit at his table while the crew grabs a drink, fans out, and mingles. Niall’s just glad to treat them and let’s them enjoy their night out while he laughs with his friends.

As the night wears on, Niall notices that people start filtering out of the pub and heading home. It seems that one second, the place is packed and then it’s him and his friends, a few people here that aren’t a part of the tour, and Sam. He almost doesn’t see her tucked into a booth, on her phone and sipping at a drink that he can tell she’s had a while. It’s basically empty except for the melted ice at the bottom.

“Kinda sad, huh?” Matt offers, “looks like she doesn’t have anyone here. Surprised she didn’t just go home.”

Niall shrugs, “everyone on our tour has someone here.” He loves his friends, but they, Matt especially, can be dicks sometimes. Niall heads over to her booth, “Sam? You gonna stay here for a bit?”

Sam looks up, a bit shocked as she didn’t notice him walk over. She’s been texting her parents, who are just waking up. She knows it’s lame, but she misses them. “Erm, yeah. I can, need me to watch your stuff?” She’s done this back home. Girls nights out at the club in the next town over usually ended in her friends getting asked to dance and her watching everyone’s bags when she originally sat down just to rest her feet and then she couldn’t even dance by herself because she was the bag watcher.

Niall gives her a confused look, “um, no. I can watch my own stuff… um, we just have space at our table if you wanted to join us.”

Sam feels the blood rush to her cheeks, embarrassed since she basically just asked to watch their shit. “Sure, that sounds fun.” It’s not like she has anything else to do besides go to an empty hotel and text her parents there.

Sam follows him over to the booth. On the way, Niall nods to her empty drink, “you want another? How many you had?”

Sam blushes again, feeling embarrassed, “just the one.” She didn’t want to take advantage of his kindness. Plus she got a mixed drink that probably cost twice the cost of a beer. Niall shrugs and goes and orders her one at the bar before she can protest.

Niall leads Sam to the booth and Matt gets up and let’s her have the entire booth seat as him, Niall, and Luke squeeze into the other. Niall’s oblivious to this happening, just thinking his pal is giving the girl her space but Sam realizes that Matt’s trying to make her feel big, making it seem like she’s the size of the three of them.

“If you don’t want the drink, you can give it to Luke, he loves the Pineapple juice,” Niall jokes, teasing his best friend. The girl just laughs and drinks it, feeling awkward and out of place, wondering if they’re all just laughing at her.

Sam doesn’t usually feel uncomfortable in her body, but she is tonight. “No, it’s perfect, thanks.”

Luke decides to enter her into the conversation. He guess it can’t be easy knowing no one here. “So, American huh? How’d you get the gig?”

Sam tells them about the 4 am emails and how Kevin just took pity on her and offered her the job. “We love a bold woman! To Sam!” Luke puts his glass up and Sam laughs, starting to loosen up as she clinks with the three of them. She drinks her vodka concoction a bit faster than her last. That, coupled with the fact that all she’s eaten today is airline food, is probably why she ends up feeling a bit tipsy after only a couple minutes.

She feels fine, honestly, but she’s laughing extra hard at dumb things and trying to make jokes that she can’t get out through a fit of giggles. The boys look at each other and all of them can tell that she’s going to be fun to get to know. Niall’s usually the drunk giggler in the group, so having a second person who gets drunk and laughs is welcomed.

Suddenly, Sam stops talking as she hears the beginning tune of her favorite song. Niall laughs deeply, his bellow echoing throughout the almost empty bar. He gets up and offers the girl his hand and they jokingly twirl to Time after Time, while the drunken girl bellows the lyrics too loud and way off key.

Luke and Matt both get in on the fun, turning the pub into a dance floor, dipping each other and caressing their faces as the final “time after time”s fade out.

As the song ends, they hear from across the bar, “ay, you lots are all clearly drunk. I’m cutting you off, head on home lads.”

Niall laughs and goes to sign his tab off, leaving the man a generous tip for waiting until the end of the song to kick them out. The four of them head out onto the street and walk Sam to her hotel before heading to Niall’s flat where they’ll stay the rest of the night.

“See? She’s kinda fun, yeah? Nothing wrong with being nice and inviting her over,” Niall offers as Matt retorts, “plus if we become friends, you know she’ll always have snacks.” He laughs a little too loud and too hard at his own joke as Niall and Luke both crash after a long day.


	2. The One in London

Sam’s not a morning person, but her body refuses to let her sleep late the next morning. The 6 hour time difference must be working in her favor. Sam gets out of bed, tosses on some slacks and a blouse and heads back to the rehearsal studio for her second day.

Kevin meets her at the door of the lot, “Boss man sent breakfast, we gotta hurry if we want the good stuff.” He brings Sam to the biggest spread she’s ever seen and gives her a plate. The two grab a few donuts and head to the corner of the lot, which has become their makeshift office.

“This was nice of him. Where is Niall so I can thank him?” Sam asks, biting into one of the best donuts she’s ever had.

Kevin shrugs, “probably be in in a few hours. He and the band aren’t really needed until later, we come in early to get things ready. Guitars tuned, sound set up, all that and then they come in and play a few songs.”

Sam nods, “so that’ll be this week, right? Then we start the tour. How’s that work?”

Kevin runs her through how things go once they’re traveling every day. In the states, they have a tour bus set up, but for the rest of the dates, they’re flying in and staying in hotel rooms. She and Kevin will be one of the first people in every day, making sure that the stage is set up properly and running through their checklist of everyone’s duties to make sure that the show will go off without a hitch. Once Niall shows up, their setting up duties will be complete.

Niall and his band will come in and do a private soundcheck while her and Kevin work to make sure that everything’s running smoothly as fans who purchased VIP show up. Then Niall will do M&G and a fan soundcheck before the show while her and Kevin work to make sure the backstage is sufficient for them and that there’s enough time for Niall to do hair, makeup, and wardrobe before the show.

Once the show’s on, they get to relax but as soon as it’s over, they’re back on, making sure that the band makes it to the hotel, or their plane, safely and that everything is taken down properly and ready to be moved to the next location. Her and Kevin will be one of the last ones to leave everyday.

Sam’s amazed at how much they have to do, but she’s excited to be a part of it. The job seems like it’ll be time consuming, but the fact that she’s getting to travel the world and work on a large tour is so exciting that she’s ready to get started.

Niall’s day starts out like most others, wakes up to his alarm, hating that his head feels like it’s shattered into bits. He grabs a quick shower, a cup of tea, and him and his friends head to rehearsals for the day.

While they’re sat on the tube, the mates talk about the next few weeks. They’re both going to go with him for the Europe leg. Niall enjoys the company of his long time friends and it keeps him from the feeling of loneliness he often experiences on the road.

Of course, Luke and Matt are off discussing all the girls they want to get. Niall can’t help but laugh. Back in the day, he probably would have joined them. When he was younger, he definitely enjoyed his single and free days, meeting hot girls and enjoying a day or two in bed. He grew out of it once he started falling for the people he was sleeping with. The one night girls just ended up feeling hollow and not as much fun as sex with someone he really liked.

His friends never have that problem though. He’s learned to get them a seperate room on tour. One night he came back to the hotel to find Matt’s bare ass greeting him. He ended up sleeping on the floor of Jake’s room and had to do a show the next day with his knee acting up from sleeping weird.

“I can’t wait til we’re in Germany mate, the girls there are freaky. Remember last time we were there, I got sisters,” Luke nudges Niall, trying to bring him back in the conversation. Niall just laughs, “you sure? Maybe ya just drank too much and had double vision.”

Matt laughs and high fives Niall as the train comes to a stop. The three mates head to the rehearsal lot and Niall grabs his guitar first thing, ready to play some tunes and hope that it helps his hangover go away.

Matt heads to the table with breakfast, grabbing a few items that were left over. Luke starts to head over with him, but stops when he sees Sam in the corner. He waves at her and when she smiles back at him, he heads over there.

“Had a great time with ya last night,” Luke starts, his green eyes sparkling as he turns to Kevin, “this one’s a riot! She had us all dancing to Cyndi Lauper!”

Sam laughs and blushes, not sure the protocol of her boss knowing about her drunken karaoke moment. “The Vokda got to me.”

Kevin laughs, “glad you know how to relax and have fun. If you work hard, you deserve to play hard too.”

“Well, the boys and I usually head out at night, you’re welcome to join us tonight as well.” Like offers up.

Sam smiles, “I appreciate the offer, but I kind of wanted to explore the city a bit tonight. It’s my first time in London, but maybe sometime later this week?”

Luke nods, “Yeah, that’d be nice. Here, let me give you my number, I’ll send you the details tonight and you can come along if you decide.”

The two exchange numbers and Luke heads back to the food while Matt gives him a laugh, “didn’t know you were a chubby chaser.”

Luke glares at him as he grabs a bagel, “you’re such an ass sometimes, Matty. I can be nice to a girl without wanting to stick my dick in her.”

——

Luke first texts Sam that night. He wants to see what she has planned for the night. “Thought I’d just walk around a bit,” Sam replies back, “take in the atmosphere of the city, kind of choose things to do as i’m walking around.”

“You can’t go by yourself!” Luke texts back, “It’s dangerous, let me talk to the fellas.” He sees a reply from Sam, but goes to see his friends, “Hey mind if we do a change of plans tonight?”

“Why?” Niall asks, already into his prep for a night out. Had some water, showered, and putting on the perfect clothes for a night at the pub.

“Cuz Luke here wants to fuck the fat chick,” Matt leads in, causing Luke to smack him on the back of his head, “Stop calling her the fat chick, I don’t want to fuck her. I just thought she needs some friends and she wants to walk around London and explore tonight alone and I don’t think it’s safe.”

Niall shrugs, “I mean, we can always grab a drink after yeah?” Mart rolls his eyes and turns towards his best friend, “are you serious? We’re gonna give up our night to go follow this girl around?!”

Niall turns and gives him a look, “Matt, you know as well as I do that this wouldn’t be the first time we’ve changed plans so you could hook up with a girl.”

“Yeah, hook up. Luke’s not going to hook up with her.” Niall laughs, “Yeah, god forbid we do something for a girl without it ending in our dicks getting wet, yeah?” Sometimes Niall wonders why they’re even friends. It seems he’s matured but his friend still acts like a lad in Uni.

“Fine,” Matt sighs, rolling his eyes. He knows when he’s been outnumbered. “We’ll go walk around London like a bunch of tourists.”

“Could be fun,” Niall says, pulling off his shirt and changing it out for a plain black one, “I haven’t properly seen some of London’s attractions since I visited with me parents for X-Factor.”

The boys head to meet Sam at her hotel. Luke ignores her texts telling him she doesn’t need them to babysit her and meets her outside. “Come on, let us walk with you? I’m an expert, lived here for years. I can show you all the best spots,” Niall says, trying his best to get her to agree. He doesn’t feel quite comfortable letting a woman wonder around by herself alone at night. He’s seen all the true crime documentaries.

“Fine, but only because you lot are so annoyingly persistent,” Sam says, rolling her eyes. This means a lot to her, actually. She enjoys that they care about her enough to forgo their other plans to walk around the city they live in, but she doesn’t want to be sappy or overly thankful.

“I’ll take it!” Niall and Luke laugh and they all toss an arm around each other and walk arm in arm like the four musketeers for a few steps until they realize that walking like that is both difficult and annoying for the people just trying to get around them.

They end up teaming off, Niall walking beside the new girl while Matt takes Luke. Matt’s convinced his friend likes the new girl and wants to keep them apart. It’s bad enough Niall has become Mr. relationship man and shied away from hookups, he can’t lose his other wingman.

Niall tries to talk to Sam, “So first time in London, yeah? You want to go see Big Ben, the Ferris Wheel, all that stuff?”

Sam turns to him and laughs, “is it totally lame if I say yes?” She smiles and Niall can’t stop himself from noticing how her brown eyes light up as she laughs, “I mean, I want to see more, yeah. I’ve always dreamed of coming to London, so I want the whole experience. But I also can’t come to London and NOT see the infamous attractions.”

“Well, then Big Ben it is!” Niall turns back to his boys who seem to be in a hushed discussion. “You fellas up for Big Ben? Wanna go see the big old fucking clock?!”

“We’re coming for you Benny!!!” Luke screams, wrapping his arm around Matt’s neck, happy for a chance to just be friends. The foursome walks to the clock. “So whatcha think? As great as you pictured?” Niall asks, leaning into Sam, wondering her thoughts.

“It really is just a big ole fucking clock isn’t it…” Sam says, causing the three boys to laugh loudly. “But come on, take a pic of me in front of it!” Sam hands her phone to her new friends and poses in front of the clock, needing some pictures to remember this moment.

“Come on, let’s get one together!” Niall laughs, setting up a selfie for the four of them. He takes a few and scrolls through them, smiling. “Alright, maybe the clock isn’t so bad…” the four head to the Ferris wheel and get in one of the pods together, taking pictures of the view, and each other, as they can see all of the city.

“I wish I could stay here longer,” Sam says, “see every single thing down there.”

Niall laughs, “love, I’ve lived here like 8 years now and still haven’t seen everything. But we can show you our favorite spots? We’ve got the rest of the week here. We can meet after rehearsals each night, yeah?”

Sam agrees and even Matt has to admit that this night has been better than he imagined. The foursome head to a pub for a drink before calling it a night.


	3. The First Date of Tour

Rehearsals in London go by so fast that Sam blinks and she’s already in Dublin about to start her first day of work. While Sam was devoted to working and making sure that she’s good enough to get references to hopefully continue on this path in the future, the boys made sure she had a good time. They showed her their favorite places, a few a night, and at the end of the week, she feels like they’re absolute best friends.

Luke is sweet and texts her throughout the day. To begin with, it was mostly things the boys thought of they wanted to show her, but after a night where they ended up in Niall’s flat, drinking and laughing at random memes, he sends her things he finds just to make her laugh. Niall is friendly towards her and has loved letting her pick the music. Both Niall and Sam are drawn to the music they grew up on, although Niall’s categories is more classic rock and a bit of country and Sam’s is more early 90s and ‘00’s pop. The two of them play songs for each other and talk about the different influences they’ve had on their lives. Even Matt has grown to like Sam. He still makes remarks towards her that hits her insecurities, but Sam overlooks them because he’s part of the group. He’s funny most of the time and is always one to recommend the really outrageous things for them to do. Plus, mostly, Sam doesn’t want to start anything. She knows she’s the new one in the group and the last thing she wants to do is start drama and lose the friends she’s made.

Sam is already in the middle of her day when she gets a text from Luke telling her good morning and that Niall has a list of the best pubs in Dublin he wants to try tonight. She shakes her head and tries not to think about if she’s going to be up for it. She’s been up since about 6 am to be at the venue. She got a quick breakfast and then is running around after Kevin, trying to get everything ready for the first night of the show.

One of her duties is to make sure that Niall’s room is stocked with everything he’s requested and she’s on her knees filling his fridge with different waters when the trio walks in. “Sam, there ya are! Never responded to my texts about the pub tonight,” Niall laughs, grabbing one of the waters that Sam just put in there.

“Sorry boss, was too busy getting your room ready. Didn’t know you were so demanding, you’ve got three different types of water!” Sam teases him and Niall shrugs, “Trust me, water is not the worst thing you could have to stock in my room. And now that I know you’re the one who does so, my rider is about to get a lot more fun.”

The boys laugh and Sam swears she sees the mischievous twinkle in Matt’s eye as he starts furiously typing on his phone. He’s probably come up with a list of the 50 weirdest things that Niall could ask for.

Sam just laughs along with them as she finishes filing his fridge. “But the pub sounds fun, it’d be nice to get out and see the cities we’re touring a bit. I might be late though, Kevin’s promised me a long day of work.”

Luke laughs, “we’re usually out late anyway. Well, except Niall. He goes to bed early.” Niall turns to him and huffs, “Hey! I’ve got a show! I can’t stay out late drinking! I’m not 16 anymore!”

“You guys are such boys,” Sam laughs and grabs the empty water containers to recycle as she heads to finish the things she has to complete before the show.

By the time the show starts, Sam is already tired. She’s been running around all day long and she’s happy for the chance to sit back and watch Niall perform.

Niall was nervous before going on stage, but as soon as he walks onstage, his nerves disappear. It’s him, his guitar, and singing the songs he worked months on perfecting.

Sam’s amazed at Niall’s performance. She hasn’t seen him perform before, but watching him play the guitar and connect with the crowd, she can see why thousands of people have come to watch him perform every night.

Niall gives it his all and seeing his fans sing the words he wrote back to him is all he needs to get off stage energized. Even though he knows he can’t stay out too late or his performance the next day will be affected, he’s buzzing from such a good show that he accompanies his two friends to the bar.

“You were great man, as usual.” Matt hypes up his friend, “I’m sure you could have your pick of girls tonight.”

Niall laughs, “thank god you have your own room now. I can’t imagine having to sleep somewhere else while your horny ass is always getting some.”

“don’t hate just because you don’t have game like I do!” Matt jokes which causes Niall to laugh and shake his head. Matt turns to Luke, “you gonna find someone tonight? Or you holding out for Sam?”

Luke shakes his head, he hates the teasing. “I might find someone tonight! I don’t know why you’re hung up on me and Sam. Unless… you’re jealous? Is that it? You want me all to yourself?” Luke jokes, moving closer to Matt.

Matt grabs Luke’s face, “oh I’m so glad you finally caught on! I’m totally in love with you! It’s always been you!” The two boys keep eye contact before bursting into laughter and Niall throws a napkin at them. “God, you two are so weird. Why couldn’t my normal friends come with me?”

“What normal friends?” Luke teases him, “all your other friends are weirder than us.”

“God, that’s true…” Niall sighs and drinks his beer. As he’s finishing his first, Sam is just finishing up for the night. She heads back to the hotel and puts on some nicer clothes before heading to the address Luke texted her.

“Whoooo!!” The boys exclaim when Sam comes in. “I know, I know!” She jokes and does a twirl for them before sitting next to Niall. “Don’t know much bout Irish men, but I figured they wouldn’t be super impressed by a sweaty, after-work Sam.”

“Can’t be anywhere as sweaty as me, I swear I had boat loads of sweat pouring down my forehead during the show.” Niall jokes.

“We know, mate. It was rather disgusting,” Matt teases him, causing Niall to flip him off. “I hate you lot, honestly.” Niall jokes.

“You hate me but you’ve been buying me drinks all night. I think you’re just waiting for this to become a chick flick plot, Ni.” Matt jokes and bats his eyelashes at Niall, earning him a rugged laugh. “You wish! You’d have to give up your hook ups for me.”

“Definitely not worth it,” Matt laughs, “but speaking of hook ups…” he nods to a girl behind Niall who’s been sneaking peeks at the table while they’ve been here.

Niall acts like he’s putting his arm around Sam’s chair and talking to her to look at the girl and he notices the girl give Sam a once over and turn back around when he does. “Sorry man, looks like she was into me.”

“Perfect, means she’ll settle for me when she can’t get you,” Matt says, grabbing his drink and heading to the bar to chat up the gorgeous blonde.

Sam laughs and turns to the two boys, “Matt certainly has a one track mind.”

“Don’t think he’s quite using his mind…” Niall jokes, causing the three friends to laugh. “Come on, let’s have our own fun.”

Sam opens her phone and swipes to the app the three have played at the pubs around London the entire week during rehearsals. She picks a category and holds the phone to her head while the two boys try their best to explain what the word is. It’s always a fun time, especially when they choose one of the more sexual categories. The three of them sit in the corner of the pub, joking and laughing. They also end up having to google quite a few phrases, which tonight quickly turns into never have I ever.

“Never have I ever sucked a dick.” Luke says, crushing Sam to roll her eyes and drink. “You’re soooo boring. Just want me to drink and choose a lame one to do so.”

Luke shrugs and since it’s Sam’s turn, she tries one that’s a bit more fun. “Never have I ever been tied to a bed.”

The boys both drink and give her a look. “Hey hey hey, I’m the one typing people to beds. I don’t give control up like that.”

Niall laughs, “ok fair enough. Never have I ever…. Had a girl pee on me during sex.” Luke gives him a pointed look and takes a drink.

“What?!” Sam laughs, needing more information. “I didn’t take you as someone who’s into watersports.”

Niall lets out a huge laugh as Luke repeats “no,” over and over. “I was young! It was one of my first times and she thought she was orgasming. But she was definitely not.”

Sam and Niall both laugh as Luke covers his face and then says, “oh, it’s on. Never have I ever kicked a girl out of the room while she was still naked.” Niall sighs and takes a drink.

“No!” Sam laughs, “that’s so rude!”

“If you were there you’d understand! I thought it was going to be a good hook up, but then once we got in the room, she put on my song and started dancing for me. Then like as we were making out, she started asking me if she was hotter than some people I’d been linked to…. I had to get away as soon as I could.”

Luke laughs, “always a good story. Some people are crazy to be with a celebrity.”

“I guess now I can say Never Have I Ever almost fucked to my own song.” Niall rolls his eyes and drinks again, “two drinks for one story.”

“Honestly though this doesn’t seem fair, we don’t know any of your stories.” Luke turns to Sam. Sam laughs, “trust me, I have much worse ones. I promise you, men are much worse than the girls you’ve been with.”

“So tell us one. We’ll be even.” Niall offers and Sam sighs. “Alright, I guess a funny bad one… I once had a guy answer a call from his mom. While we were having sex.”

“Oh been there.” Both the boys say at once. “What?!” Sam laughs, “unbelievable! It’s awkward, I promise you.”

Niall shrugs, “I’m always on the road, my mom’s my main girl. I’ll always answer her call.”

Luke laughs, “the girl was just terrible and I’d take any excuse to get away from that.”

Sam laughs, “god, now you’ve got me wondering if I’m just terrible.”

The boys start laughing too and the three of them finish off their drinks and head to the hotel for the night. Sam has to admit, she enjoys hanging out with the two of them. She feels comfortable in their company and she’s happy to have some friends while she’s so far from home.


	4. The Night In

All the nights out have left Sam’s work suffering. It’s harder for her to get up early, she’s more tired throughout the day and things are just starting to slip through

Even though Sam loves going out with her friends every night, her job remains her first priority. So when the group chat starts lighting up with ideas for what to do that night after the show, Sam ignores it.

The boys don’t mention it to her as she sees them while Niall’s doing soundcheck, because they know she’s busy. She doesn’t normally text them much anyway, but when the show ends and they still haven’t received anything, Luke catches up with her before they head out. “You ok? You not mad at us?”

Sam shakes her head, “no! I promise, I’m not. I just need a night in. I’m just so tired.”

Luke nods, “alright, well we can do tomorrow then?” Sam smiles non-committedly. Every night out is just getting to her, but she doesn’t want to say no and alienate her friends on tour. “I’ll let the boys know, hope you get some sleep.”

Luke, Matt, and Niall head to the bar as a group of single lads for the first time since the tour started. “Just like old times!” Matt hollers as they walk into a packed club. “Your sex lives have been rather dry. I’ve been keeping track. We’re bout to find you both some hot ass.” He leads his friends to the bar and gets them both a beer. “So who are our options?”

Matt hits Luke on the back as he points out a girl a few feet away. “There’s your girl. She keeps looking over at you.” Before Niall can protest his friends leaving him, Matt’s across the room “making introductions” for Luke.

Niall sighs and pulls his hat down a bit further over his face and hopes that the club is too crowded for people to see and recognize him. He orders another drink as he waits for Luke to hit it off with the girl and Matt to come running back over.

Matt feels disconnected from Niall lately. He’s not the same guy he’s known almost his entire life. Ever since Renee and him broke up, he’s completely different. Matt’s not even sure if Niall’s gotten laid since. “Your turn!” He smiles and he can feel Niall cringe. “I don’t think so…” Niall laughs awkwardly and drinks his beer. “I’m not really in the mood.”

Matt sighs and leans in, “come on, it’s been like a year. You’ve got to move on.”

Niall glares at him, “I have moved on. I’m just not interested in a meaningless hook up who I’ll never see again because I don’t live here.”

“Not seeing them again is half the fun. Nothing worse than hooking up with someone and then having to see them every day, right?” Matt nudges Niall and tries to get him to at least smile or laugh or something.

“I’m not in the mood, Matt.” Niall says again. “Look, I think I should just head back to the hotel. I don’t want to be the reason you can’t find a good hookup.” Matt thinks about protesting, but he’s not too keen on nursing a beer with Niall when there’s loads of hot girls around who might be interested in him.

“Fine, whatever. We’ll see you tomorrow.” Niall pays his tab and his two friend’s tab and heads back to the hotel.

He sighs and sends Sam a text, “Missed you tonight, hope you’re sleeping well.” He hops in the shower before bed.

Despite Sam’s best efforts, she wasn’t able to sleep when she got back to the hotel. She has too much adrenaline from running around all day to just lay down and sleep. When she gets Niall’s text, she responds almost instantly, “the sandman hasn’t quite visited yet. Are you guys back already? If I’d known if it was a short night, I might have come along.”

When he gets out of the shower, Niall checks his phone and chuckles when he sees the text, “well, I’m back. Mind if I swing by?”

Sam sends him an affirmative and he tosses on some flannel pants and one of his T-shirt’s before knocking on her hotel room door.

He’s let in and sighs, “Without you there, it just became us looking for girls.”

Sam laughs, “to be fair, Matt looks for girls even when I’m there.” She grabs a pillow and sits on the bed. Niall lays down at the end at the bed and laughs, “god. I don’t know how things got this way. Do you ever feel like you’ve completely changed from your friends?”

Niall rubs at his eyes and he’s not even expecting a response, but Sam decides to be honest. “Yeah… I do. All of my friends are in a completely different spot of life than I am. Married, kids…”

“And you’re traveling the world.” Niall says, turning to face her and Sam laughs and repeats, “and I’m traveling the world yeah.”

“But you’re still jealous, huh?” He asks, knowing the feeling of seemingly having it all but still not being happy.

She nods and sighs, laying down and staring at the ceiling. Sam’s never been good about opening up and it helps not to look at him as she does. “Like I’ve been there with my friends through relationship after relationship. The good, the bad, the ugly. And I’ve just always been the one who guys would come up to talk to to ask about my friend. It’s hard to not be jealous that they have something.”

“You’re not a virgin are you?” Niall jokes, lightening the mood. Sam sits up and laughs and throws a pillow at him, “no! Pervert!”

The two laugh for a minute until they catch their breath and Niall hands her the pillow back, “sorry, I had to ask. But I get it. I see my friends have relationships too. They have people to talk to about anything. And I’m jealous too. I’m always scared it’s my job, but I see others in my position who have good relationships too, so it can’t be just that.”

“I can get it’d be hard though,” Sam tries to emphasize with him, “I’ve only been doing this a few weeks and I can’t keep in touch with anyone back home. The time difference, always being busy with work.”

“But maybe that’s the hardest part, isn’t it? That I have to choose between my dream job and having someone? I wish it were easy to have both.” Niall rubs his hands through his hair. He’s glad he’s able to have this conversation with someone who seems to understand.

“Nothing’s really easy though, is it? I mean, this job is difficult. But it’s worth it. My friend’s relationships aren’t easy, but I guess it’s worth it for them because they’re still in it…”

“That’s not what I meant…” Niall whispers and Sam sighs. “What did you mean then?”

Niall sighs, “I haven’t told anyone this… but I thought about not doing music again. When the band ended, I thought about just going home, calling it quits. That’s when Renee, my ex, and I got really close. She basically moved in with me. We spent months together and things were great. I even thought about proposing to her. Then I just missed music. I started writing and things started to go downhill. By the time I released This Town and started promoting it, we were over. It’s like I had to choose between my relationship and music… and I chose music.”

Sam sits in silence while he recounts his story and moves to give him a hug once he finishes. “I’m sorry. That couldn’t have been easy.”

Niall wraps his arm around her waist and buries his head in her shoulder, “I regret it sometimes… I just think about what would happen if I’d not gone back.”

“Would you have been happy?” Sam asks and Niall sits up, shocked. She continues, “would you have been happy never doing music professionally again? If it meant you had her?”

“M-maybe if I’d waited though… maybe if I got married first then tried.”

Sam shakes her head, “I mean, if you’re right and the relationship only ended because of you touring, you’d never be able to go back or it’d end. Right? So you wouldn’t just be waiting, you’d never be able to again. Would you have been happy with that?”

Niall sighs, “I’ve never thought of that. I mean, I thought I’d be happy with her, but if I could never tour? Release my songs? Maybe I really wouldn’t.”

Sam leans away from him, pulling her knees up to her chest and laying her head on her knees. “I’m sorry you’re still struggling with it. I’ve never had a relationship like that, but I imagine it’s not easy to get over…”

Niall nods, wondering for the first time if he’d really be happier if he never got to return to music. He sighs and sits up, “I should probably head to bed now… thanks for the talk.” He smiles and heads back to his room, having a lot to think about.


	5. The Sex Dream

“Yes!!” I scream as I feel a large palm slap my ass. I throw my head forward and attach my lips to Niall’s. “Sam,” he moans between kisses, his lips red and puffy already. He has one hand pulling at my hair and his thumb is rubbing sweet little messages into the top of my ears. I bite at his neck as the short nails of his other hand dig into my hips and his pace quickens.”oh fuck,” I say, leaning back just as I’m about to hit my orgasm.

Bzzz. Bzzz. Sam slams her hand on the snooze button as she tries to come to terms with what just happened. Did she just have a sex dream… about Niall?

She can’t remember the last time she had a sex dream about anyone. Although, to be fair, she might just be extra horny as it has been a bit since she’s gotten any action. Being on the road isn’t exactly stellar for her sex life.

It’s ok, though. It doesn’t mean anything, Sam tells herself as she gets up and showers. Ever since her and Niall’s talk last week, things have been pretty great between them. They’re not having heart to hearts each day, but Sam feels more comfortable opening up around him.

However, she’s still aware who he is. He’s Niall Horan, Mr. dated celebrities and supermodels. And he’s her boss. Having a sex dream about him is bad enough, but developing feelings for him? That’d be the worst thing she could do.

Sam’s had her fair share of crushes in her life. Usually, they start the same way. Guys are nice to her, don’t seem to focus on her weight, and suddenly she’s crushing on them. That is, until she starts dropping hints and the guys give her the “oh I see you as just one of the guys,” spiel.

Although, she definitely prefers that to the guys she started falling for in college. The type of guy who’d text her nonstop, who’d beg her to come to theirs. They’d worship her body for days on end. Sam easily started to believe they’d fallen for her. Then when she’d start mentioning parties or him meeting her friends and they always bailed on plans. It was devastating when the first guy she ever really fell for, Josh, told her that he didn’t want his friends to get the wrong idea about them.

At first, Sam thought this was just a thing that happened in college. People just sleep around, you know? Until a guy she met in her stats class told her that he could never date a fatty-he had a reputation to uphold. Suddenly, all her past flings were put into a new light.

Since then, Sam’s been in control. She’s smart enough to know who is too far out of her league to like her in that way. If this were a scale, Sam and Niall would probably be as far apart as their weights are.

She’s not going to get any of her hopes up. She’s not into Niall and he’s certainly never going to be into her.

Sam finishes getting ready and heads to the venue, ready to forget her dumb dream. She thinks she’s doing a good enough job until Niall comes up behind her and asks, “hey how long do I have til soundcheck?” He innocently places his hand on her arm when he asks, but Sam jumps out of her skin and feels a blush rising.

Niall puts his hands up and backs away, “you ok? Didn’t mean to scare you?”

“Yeah, yeah. Um, you’ve got 15 minutes.” Sam’s surprised at herself. She never imagined having this type of reaction, but feeling his hand on her arm just reminded her of her dream where his hand was digging into her ass.

Sam rushes off and Niall turns to Matt and Luke, “that was weird… right?” Honestly, he would have expected that if it were last week. Niall doesn’t normally open up to people about his past relationship. A few people know the whole story, mostly the people who were there when it happened. The people he wrote with know bits and pieces, enough to get the lyrics precisely right.

He thought maybe it was the beers he had, but after he bared his soul to Sam, he felt comfortable. Niall didn’t regret opening up so much, like he thought he would. It also helps that Sam didn’t bring it up again or try to push him for more details. He never thought he could trust someone with these parts of him again, not after Renee left him.

But it’s been a week of them being really good. Niall was always looking forward to Matt running off to find a hookup. He even encouraged Luke to “take advantage of the tour while he could,” just so he could have more time with Sam alone. Not that anything’s happened. He’s not even told her more, but he just likes hanging out with her alone. He likes talking to her.

Maybe he’s been too obvious that he’s wanting to hang out with just her. Niall starts trying to rack his brain with what happened last night. It seemed like a fairly normal, but maybe she noticed that it was becoming more of just them. The last thing Niall wanted to do was make her less comfortable around him.

“Maybe she’s just PMSing,” Matt shrugs. He’s oblivious to the shift in Niall and Sam’s relationship recently. “Or maybe she read this place is haunted or something. No big deal.”

Luke rolls his eyes, “I’ll just ask her.” He texts Sam, asking her why she’s so jumpy today. Honestly, he’s a bit worried. There’s been a lot of talk about MeToo and it’s made him aware of the sexual harassment that can happen in a work environment towards women their age. Niall just touched her and she almost had a heart attack. He wants to make sure that nobody’s been taking advantage of their friend.

Sam doesn’t see the message for a while, since she’s trying to keep up with putting the show on. So, Luke sidles up to her while she’s watching soundcheck from side of the stage. “Wanna tell me what’s happened earlier?”

Sam gives him a look of confusion, “hmm?” When Luke explains she laughs and shakes her head, “it’s nothing. He gave me a bit of a fright, that’s all. I’m good.”

Luke lowers his voice, “are you sure? I mean, nobody’s… tried to take advantage of you while you’re working have they.”

Sam wants to laugh, but she can’t. Her heart is full thinking that her friend is that worried about someone possibly harassing her. She shakes her head, “everyone has been amazing to me on tour. Thank you for your concern though.”

Luke smiles, “ok good. Just a fright then?” Sam sighs and lowers her voice, “look, I’ll tell you, but you can’t mention it to anyone else, alright?”

Luke nods and Sam sighs, “I had a sex dream last night…. with Niall.” Luke’s eyes go wide and he’s about to answer when Matt puts a hand on each of their shoulders, “hey guys. What you talking about?”

Sam feels her throat dry up. She still wouldn’t consider her and Matt friends. He always seems to be making snide remarks about her whenever they hang out. The last thing she wants is for him to go tell everyone she had a dumb dream about Niall. She especially doesn’t want Niall to know. She doesn’t want to put him in a place where he has to reject her. Sam knows it’s not like that, but she knows Matt would probably make it into a bigger deal than it was and ruin their whole friendship.

“Just about how great Niall’s set is tonight,” Luke covers for them both. He’s felt that there’s something going on between his two friends lately. Niall practically begs him to let them be alone. Honestly, he’s for it. Sam has quickly become one of their best friends and Niall’s been down since Renee left. If they’re into each other, Luke would gladly do what he can to help them both be happy.

After the show, the boys wait for Sam to finish her work and then they head to a pub that Niall’s heard about. It’s pretty dead since it’s a Wednesday night but it allows them to talk.

“To nights like this forever,” Niall says, clinking his beer with his friends. “I’m glad you guys could join me on the European leg, it’s helped me feel more at home. I can’t believe we only have 2 weeks left.”

“Ah, don’t go getting all sentimental on us, Horan.” Matt laughs and hugs his friend. “You know we’d go anywhere with you. It’s a pleasure to watch you perform every night, you’re a true rockstar.”

Luke laughs and mutters, “so much for not getting sentimental.”

Niall laughs and rolls his eyes, “just let me enjoy this.” He leans back in the booth and takes a swig if his beer.

Before long, they start talking about their next day off. Niall’s been looking forward to it a while, they’re all planning to go to Thorpe Park and just have a day of fun and relaxation.

Finally, Matt gets to what he’s been planning since he overheard Sam’s confession at soundcheck. He suggests they play a game and is adamant about playing Never Have I Ever. Luke is on edge, knowing that his friend has a mean streak to him. He doesn’t know why Matt is so threatened by Sam, but he’s been trying to alienate her almost from day one.

Sam’s trying to suggest they play something else, but Niall’s oblivious to everything that’s happened backstage and thinks it’ll be fun to play again. It’s a dumb game and they’ve played it a million times. There’s not much new to learn about each other, but Matt seems to have some dirt on someone if he wants to play so bad.

The game starts rather normally and Niall’s ready to just head back to the hotel when Matt stops him, “come on, one more! Never have I ever had a sex dream about Niall.”

Sam is visibly annoyed, but Luke is happy to keep her from feeling embarrassed. He grabs his drink and makes a big show of it. He jokes to Niall, “no worries though, you were quite an awful lay in my dream.”

While everyone’s attention is on Luke, Sam takes her sip and silently sends her friend thanks for having her back.

Niall notices Sam drinking and he tries not to react. He can tell she’s embarrassed, but he definitely is shocked she thinks of him in that way. He tries to ignore the thoughts forming in his head as he turns to Luke and laughs, “clearly dream me isn’t up to standard. I promise I’ve never received any complaints.”

Niall finishes off his beer and pushes it further up on the table, “can we head back to the hotel now?”

Once they get to the hotel, Niall heads to his room to think about what happened at the bar. He doesn’t know why he felt his heart race when he saw Sam admit that she’s had a dream about him. They’ve gotten close lately and he’s enjoyed time with her, but Niall knows it’s not going to be romantic.

He’s tried that before. Niall’s lost so many special people in his life because he tried to date them and it didn’t work. He knows that his schedule is too demanding and that, if he’s being honest with himself, he’s too selfish to be a good boyfriend.

After Renee, Niall doesn’t know if he wants to be a boyfriend again. He thought he’d end up with her, but it obviously didn’t work out. Niall can’t open up like that again for someone else just for it to end. Besides, he’s sure that Sam’s dream was probably just some subconscious thing. She can’t possibly like him like that and he’s not about to ruin one of the best friendships he’s had over Never Have I Ever.

While Niall can’t get the end of the game and the girl sleeping in the room next to his out of his mind, his two friends are down the hall fighting. As soon as they arrived to the hotel, Luke confronted his friend. “I see what you’re doing.”

Matt gives him a look, “I’m not doing anything….” Luke rolls his eyes and Matt sighs and relents, “ok, fine. Maybe I just thought Niall would get a kick out of knowing the fat girl’s been getting off to him.”

“It’s not like that…” Luke protests and Matt laughs. “Come on? You really think it’s just a dream? That Sam hasn’t been hoping that one of us would give her the time of day? She’d be lucky to end up with any of us looking like that.”

“You really are an ass, aren’t you?” Luke states. He’s always stood up for his friend before. Matt’s not had the easiest life and he always used to find shelter at his or Niall’s place when his dad would start drinking. Maybe it’s because Luke remembers how vulnerable Matt would get, like the time he confessed that he doesn’t believe in God, but he prays to him every day anyway to keep his mom safe, just in case he’s real.

But lately Matt’s just gotten more and more vicious and seems to be lashing out at Sam. “You’ve never even given her a chance. Every time she’s around, you slink off to find someone to bring home. You completely ignore anything she sends in our group chat and you’re just trying to embarrass her for no reason!”

Matt rolls his eyes, “come on. I just don’t get why you guys like her so much. I don’t know why I should be nice to someone like that.”

“Because you should be nice to everyone? Even if you don’t like her, there’s no reason to go out of your way to embarrass her!”

Matt sighs and tries to just go to bed and Luke decides to drop something else on him, “I think Niall really likes her.”

Matt scoffs, “Niall? Niall Horan? You think he’s going to go from Renee, who looked like a fucking super model to someone who looks like a busted can of biscuits on a good day?”

Luke shakes his head, “Wow… I actually think she’s gorgeous. It’s like you can’t see past her weight at all.”

“Well maybe if she cared enough to take care of herself, I’d be nice to her.” Matt replies.

“Night Matt.” Luke clicks off the light, too angry to even respond.


	6. Thorpe's Park

Sam wakes up without the help of an alarm for the first time in way too long. They’ve had a few days off tour so far and she’s spent most of them catching up with her family and roaming the cities they’ve been in.

Today, though, Niall was adamant about the four of them going to Thorpe Park. He’d been planning it for a while, since most of his days off are spent sleeping until the afternoon.

Niall offered to pay for the entry of anyone who’s been working on his tour, a gesture he likes to do from time to time to thank the people who are behind making the show a success every single night.

Most of the crew, his band members, and of course his friends agreed to take him up on the offer. They could all use a day of fun and relaxation after the weeks they’ve spent working tirelessly.

“Alright guys, what do you want to do first??” Niall asks, thinking about all his favorite rides.

“Come on, we have to start on the big roller coasters before the lines get too long!” Matt answers, looking at the map and trying to figure out which one is closest to their current location.

The boys agree and start heading that way and stop when they notice that Sam is still looking at her map.

“Hey Sam, you gonna come with us?” Niall asks her. Having four people would really be best since most rides require you to ride in pairs.

“Actually, I think I’m probably just going to hang out in the water park most of the day.” Sam nervously responds. She doesn’t want to make a big deal out of it and was hoping she could just sneak off without them noticing.

“What, why? Having four is perfect. Without you, one of us will have to ride alone,” Luke pleads with her. He’s hoping it’s not because of Matt. He’s been acting even ruder to her ever since he mentioned that Niall might like her.

Sam sighs and avoids their eyes. She feels embarrassed admitting this. She’s not one to be ashamed of her body, but not being able to do things her friends want to do because of her size always makes her upset. Sam picks a spot on the ground to focus on as she admits, “I don’t think I’ll fit on any of the rides…”

Matt thought Sam was just doing this as a ploy to get Niall alone. He’s noticed that they spend their times at the pub mostly together. He figures she’s trying to get Niall to fall for her and Matt is doing his duty as a good friend trying to keep them apart. But hearing this is priceless. He lets out a laugh without even meaning to.

His friends give him a look that can only be described as disgust. Niall rolls his eyes and tries hard to not immediately send his friend home.

Sam’s crushed that someone would laugh at her like that, but she’s not surprised. She knows better than to let Matt have anything on her so she refuses to cry in front of him.

“Come on, Sam. I could use a day in the water anyway. It’s way too hot out.” Niall offers and Matt shakes his head, “no. You’ve been raving about riding this coaster for weeks and you’re just going to refuse to hang out with the girl who can’t fit on it?”

Niall glares at him, but decides to go with a simple, “yeah, I am. Come on, Sam.”

He walks off quickly, leaving Sam to pull herself out of the shock of what just happened and rush after him. “I’m sorry…. I didn’t mean to make you miss out on the rides.”

Niall sees her rushing and slows his pace down. “I don’t mind. It’s fun to hang out in the water park too. Plus I can always go on them later today.”

They head towards the pool and change into their swimsuits. Sam gives herself a few extra minutes in the change room to calm down and catches up to Niall, who has already claimed two of the chairs for them.

“There you are! Ready to get in the water?” Niall asks when Sam comes to meet him. She shakes her head and pulls out sunscreen, “not before we put this on. I’m not going to deal with another week of you moaning nonstop about your sunburn.” She teases him.

Niall laughs and grabs a glop of the lotion and starts peppering it on the exposed parts of his skin. He turns to her and laughs, “happy, mom?”

“Very!” Sam responds before heading to the pool. The park isn’t super crowded so they’re both able to have some room to swim around.

Niall swims for a bit and when he starts to get tired, he comes up to rest for a few moments. He watches Sam, who is now just a few feet away from him. She’s floating on the water with her eyes closed. Despite the sunscreen’s best efforts, her face is starting to redden, bringing out the freckles on her nose.

She has a huge smile on her face and Niall can’t help but wonder what’s going through her mind and allowing her to appear this calm when she opens her eyes. She stands up suddenly, feeling embarrassed that her friend was just watching her. Niall’s cheeks redden at getting caught and mutters an apology towards her, but she waves him off and heads back to the chair for a break from the water herself.

Only when they’re back does Sam hazard a look at Niall and notice that his face is beet red. “Here, I think you may need a bit more sunscreen on your face.” She grabs her tube and Niall allows her to lean into him and apply the cool product to his cheeks and nose.

Sam feels almost silly at the electricity that shoots through her when she touches him. Sometimes when she’s around him, she feels like a little schoolgirl with a crush on the most popular kid on the playground. Sam’s spent a good portion of her life stopping herself from feeling this way. Everytime a man’s shown interest in her, she’s kept herself at a distance until they’ve shown their hand and she knows that they’re into her.

Of course, that’s never happened for her before. Most of the people she’s known either don’t care for her body or only care about it. She figures Niall falls into the former category, but somehow she’s unable to stop herself from feeling butterflies around him.

It’s probably because he doesn’t make it easy for her to stop. While she applies sunscreen to his face, Niall keeps his eyes trained on hers, almost as if he wants to say something. Only once she finishes wiping the lotion into his face does he begin, “I’m sorry about Matt… I know he’s been pretty rude to you lately.”

Sam sighs, “he’s been like that since we first met, to be fair…”

Niall nods, “I mean, yeah. He has… I’m not sure what’s up with him. He’s normally pretty nice, but what he said earlier today was completely out of line.”

“I just don’t understand why you guys are friends with him. You and Luke are so nice and fun to hang out with and he’s rude and spends all his time finding hookups.”

Niall runs his hand through his hair and sighs, “I know it’s hard to understand when you’ve only had this interaction with him, but we’ve all been friends since we were kids. There’s a lot of history to us and a lot more to him than just what you’ve seen…”

Sam sighs, “we’ve been on this tour of almost two months now. I think if there were more of him to be seen, I’d have seen it by now. He just seems like a complete jackass with no redeeming qualities.”

“Sam, stop. You don’t know what he’s been through. He’s out of line today, sure. But he’s not as bad as you’re making him out to be.”

“It’s not just today though, Niall.” Sam turns on him, angry that he’s making this out to be a one time thing and acting like Matt hasn’t been poking fun at her weight since the day they met. “And it’s frustrating that I spend everyday getting attacked by him and you guys just ignore his comments.”

“I’m sorry, you never make it seem like it bothers you. I didn’t know you expected us to stand up to him when you don’t.” Niall rolls his eyes. He’s upset that Sam’s making him out to be this bad guy who ignores the comments. He’s not going to make things awkward with one of his best friends when she never made it clear the jokes he normally makes are out of line.

“I don’t want him to paint me as the crazy fatty, but friends are supposed to stick up for one another.” Sam responds and Niall can’t take it anymore. “You know, I think I do want to do the roller coasters. I’ll see you later.”

Before Sam can respond, Niall’s grabbed his bag and is pulling his shirt on as he heads to find his other friends. He doesn’t know what she wants from him. For him to just drop one of his best friends because of his dumb comments?

When he catches up to his friends, Luke looks confused. “Where’s Sam?”

Niall shrugs, “still at the pool I imagine. Just got boring, thought I’d come for a few rides.”

Luke feels there’s more to the story than he’s letting on. “Well, I was actually thinking of joining you two soon, so I’ll go find her…”

When he walks off, Matt rolls his eyes, “I don’t know what it is with you two and the fat girl. She can be on her own for a few hours.”

Niall turns on him and his eyes are full of fury. Matt hasn’t seen him get mad often and never to this extent. “Look, cut the fucking fat jokes ok? They’re not funny and they’ve never been funny. If you don’t like her, whatever. But there’s no reason to consistently go after her weight.”

Matt puts his hands up, “woah, ok. I didn’t think it was that big of a deal.”

Niall shakes his head and follows him to one of the rides, already kind of regretting getting so defensive with Sam earlier. He just hates to see his friends hating each other, but the more he thinks of the past few weeks, the more instances that are sticking in his mind of Matt making snide comments or jokes at Sam’s expense.

Matt sees Niall off in his own world and decides to bring up what Luke mentioned to him a few nights ago. “So… do you like her? Sam?”

Niall’s shocked, “what? Where would you get that idea from?” He’s worried that it’s too obvious. Niall’s been trying hard to not show he’s into Sam at all. He’s sworn off relationships while he’s touring and has no desire to start one that could make things awkward when they break up.

Matt shrugs, “Luke mentioned it to me.. honestly, I’m just worried about you. Thought maybe she’s just trying to use you to get a career or something.”

Niall laughs, “look, if that’s why you don’t like her, you don’t have to worry about it. She’s definitely not using me. She got this gig all by herself didn’t she?”

Matt nods, “She did…” he noticed that Niall didn’t answer whether he’s into her or not. That’s kind of the only answer he needs to know that he is.

Across the park, Luke finally makes it to the pool and noticed Sam sitting on the edge with her feet dipped in the pool while she’s on her phone. He sits next to her and sees a kid on the other end.

Sam looks at Luke and smiles, “Luke! This is my best friend’s kid, Tommy. Tommy, this is one of my friends, Luke.”

Luke laughs and waves and the kid, who can’t be older than a year old, starts making all kinds of sounds and reaching for the phone.

“No Tommy! Don’t put the phone in your mouth!” Kelsea, Sam’s friend, laughs and then suddenly she’s on the other end. “Luke right? Nice to meet you. I’ve heard some about you. Not a lot though.”

Sam laughs and turns to Luke, “Kelsea’s mad I hardly ever get to talk to her lately.”

Luke smiles, “well, I’m glad that I’m at least mentioned in her conversations. Although, you should cut her some slack. She’s one of the hardest working people I’ve met, she’s always go go go when there’s a show.”

Sam beams while Luke talks her up and Kelsea can sense something in the way they interact. She uses an excuse of her kid needing to be fed to get off the phone and tells Sam to call her later. Then she sends Sam a text, “He’s cute, I like him and approve. Let yourself have some fun, it won’t be the worst thing in the world.”

As soon as the call ends, Sam puts her phone down and Luke smiles, “so that’s your friend from back home?”

Sam smiles, “Yeah, she’s one of them. We’ve always been a bit closer than with our other friends.”

“Sooo she’s who I should get in touch with if I want dirt on you for the next Never Have I Ever?” He teases, alluding to the last disastrous game they had. Sam laughs loudly and shakes her head, “no, she’s way too good of a friend. She wouldn’t tell you shit.”

The two laugh and kick at the still water of the pool and Luke asks, “are you excited to see them again soon? This leg’s ending next week.” He knows she’ll have about two weeks off before the tour is headed to Australia.

Sam smiles and before she even talks, Luke knows she’s excited from the way her face lights up. “I am! I’ve enjoyed this whole experience so far, but… honestly, I miss my family and friends a lot. It’s hard to find time to talk to them with the time difference and the demands of the job.”

“I get it… you know, Niall struggles with that a lot too. Matt and I won’t be with him for the rest of the tour… maybe he could help you figure out how to find time for them?” Luke offers. He knows that his friend is too stubborn to make a move, but maybe he can help set them up to see how great they’d be together.

Sam shrugs, not wanting to commit. She’s not sure if they’ll even still be friends after Niall blew up on her and went to find Matt. She looks down and checks her phone and laughs at the text she received from Kelsea and shows Luke. “Oh, she thinks I’m cute?” He beams, “I like her! She’s the best friend you’ve got!”

The pair are laughing when Niall and Matt come to find them. “Hey, we’re gonna grab some lunch. You guys wanna join us?” Niall asks, a bit monotone since he’s not quite sure how to apologize for his outburst earlier in front of the other two friends.

Luke jumps up from the pool, “Yes! I’m starving!” He laughs and the four head to one of the restaurants in the park.

Luke orders the largest burger there and Sam laughs when it arrives, “god, I sure hope you don’t plan on swimming at all the rest of the day. That’s not going to digest soon!”

The boys all laugh and Luke sticks his tongue out at her, “you can’t make me feel bad today, I’m cute afterall!” He jokes.

Sam shakes her head and laughs, “you’re so weird!” He responds, “weird and CUTE.”

Matt and Niall exchange looks. Maybe Matt was wrong, maybe Luke likes Sam. It looks like they’re flirting pretty heavily now. Niall’s heart drops when he sees them flirting. Of course Sam likes Luke, he’s always nice to her and never blows up at her and leaves her alone in the middle of a theme park. She’d never go for Niall. It’s a good thing he’s never tried anything, he doesn’t need to get his heart broken again.


	7. I'm Terrified

Sam tries to talk to Niall the night of the Thorpe Park trip, but he seems to be avoiding her. She just wants to apologize about attacking him over Matt. Once she thought about it, she realized she was a bit out of line telling him that he should stand up for her. Granted, Sam doesn’t think she was completely wrong, but she also doesn’t want things to be awkward going forward.

It’s been a week and Niall’s barely talked to her. The last show of the European leg is tonight and Sam’s sure that she’s going to get on the plane back to America for her break without working things out.

She tries to focus on work and not let it bother her, but it does. Sam thought they were friends. After the last show, she heads back to the hotel and is packing up her suitcase when Luke knocks on her door. “Hey… we’re going to go out and celebrate the end of this leg of tour. You should come with us.”

“I don’t know, Luke…” she sighs. She doesn’t want to make things awkward if Niall doesn’t want her there. Especially because she knows Matt doesn’t want her there so she’ll just be sitting awkwardly in the corner.

“It’s a great opportunity to talk to Niall….” he offers, “I know it’s been bothering you.” Niall’s basically been sulking all week and won’t talk to him, so Luke is sure it’s bothering Niall as well, but he figures if he just gets them in the same room, things will work themselves out.

“Fine… I’ll come.” Sam relents and Luke smiles, “good, make sure you wear something sexy.” He winks at her and Sam laughs and tries to find something. She brought cute, comfortable, or professional items. Sexy was not exactly the type of things she was planning on wearing while working. Sam finds a cute dress she likes and throws it on.

Luke sits on her bed while she starts doing her makeup. He’s on his phone, typing away and gives her only a short “Niall’s coming over” before there’s a knock on the door.

Niall’s been on edge lately. He’s been so stupid the past few months. After Renee, he promised himself that he wouldn’t fall for the wrong girl again. It’s been pretty easy for him: any girl he’s attracted to, he just puts distance between them.

But with Sam, it kind of snuck up on him. He thought she was safe and that he wouldn’t start having feelings for her, but then it hit him quickly that he would be happy spending every night with her.

Of course, right when he was starting to realize that and admit it to himself, he realized that Luke and Sam had something going on. He tried to distance himself from Sam, but it wasn’t as easy with Luke. After all, he’s his friend and is here solely because of him.

Yet, he didn’t expect for Luke to tell him that he’s in Sam’s room with her and ask him to come over before they head to the bar.

When Sam opens the door, she only looks about half done. “Hey Niall….” he gives her a small smile, not sure what to say. “Niall! Come sit by me!” Luke screams from the bed.

Niall tries to appear less awkward than he feels and sits on the bed next to Luke. “So what are we doing in here….”

“Well, you didn’t invite Sam, so she’s just starting to get ready now. So we’re just waiting for her to finish. Shouldn’t be long, right Sammy?”

Sam scrunches up her nose, “only my dad calls me Sammy!” She tells Luke, not for the first time. She hates it, which makes it a little more fun for Luke to call her that.

“Oh that’s right!” He pretends like he forgot, “I’ll try to remember that!”

Sam rolls her eyes and starts on her eyeshadow when Luke suddenly stands up, “I’m gonna go to the bathroom. In my room so I don’t stink up yours. You can stay here.” He says to Niall as he leaves while both of his friends give him a disgusted look.

“He’s your friend.” Sam says at the same time Niall says, “he’s your boyfriend.”

They laugh and Sam shakes her head, “He is definitely NOT my boyfriend. I don’t know where you got that from.”

“Wait, really?” Niall asks, a little shocked. They seem a lot closer than friends.

“Yeah… trust me, there’s nothing between Luke and I. Well, friendship. Still trying to understand that sometimes too.” She laughs and she can see Niall’s lost in his own thoughts. Honestly, Niall feels a little dumb that he overreacted. How lame is it that he was willing to cut out two of his best friends because he thought they were dating? He’s tried so hard to not be into Sam, but it seems like the more he tries, the easier it is to fall for her.

Sam decides to change the subject and get to what she’s been wanting to say all week. “By the way… I wanted to apologize for what I said at the park. I realize that Matt is your friend and obviously him and I have our issues, but I shouldn’t put you or Luke between us.”

“Oh. I don’t really care about that.” Niall shrugs. He kind of saw her point. There were quite a few things that Matt did that were out of line. He should have at least tried to make it more civil between them instead of just ignoring it.

Sam sighs and puts her palette down and turns to him. He can see the hurt in her eyes as she asks, “then why haven’t you invited me out with you this whole week?”

Niall thinks about telling her that it’s because he thinks he’s fallen for her. Or that he was jealous because he thought she was with Luke. But he chickens out. “Oh, I just figured with the beef between you and Matt, I’d spend the last week he’s here with him since you and I will have basically the rest of the tour together.”

“Oh. Makes sense.” Sam says, turning back to the mirror to work on her makeup. She feels a little embarrassed now getting so upset over it. I mean, it really was only a week and it’s not like he’s obligated to invite her out each night.

Niall watches her as she gets ready, trying not to interrupt her process. She’s got her usually wavy locks up in curlers and he sees her mumbling some song. He listens closely and realizes pretty quickly that it’s one of Maren’s songs.

He picks up with her and starts singing along, “I could use a love song that takes me back, just like that when it comes on. To a time when I wouldn’t roll my eyes at a guy. And a girl. Who make it work. In a world that for me so far just seems so wrong.”

He watches her eyes close as they sing and a smile forms on her face as she sways to the lyrics. Niall fades out of the song and when she opens her eyes, she smiles at him, “I love that song.”

Niall laughs, “Well, that’s good. You’re about to hear it every single show from now til September.”

“I would have done the tour for that alone.” Sam jokes just before there’s a pounding on the door. Niall opens it to see Matt with his arms crossed. “We’re losing valuable party time. Let’s go!”

Niall looks to Sam who is still pretty early on in the process. She sighs, “Give me just a minute.” She quickly pulls her hair out of the curlers and gives them a little tease with her hands, trying to make her hair look decent. She throws on a red lip and mascara and follows the boys down the hall.

Luke comes up next to Niall and speaks softly, “sorry, I was trying to give you time to talk, but Matt was impatient…”

“You didn’t have to do that,” Niall protests, but the way Luke says, “Yeah, I did,” makes Niall realize that Luke sees what he’s spent so long trying to convince himself he didn’t feel.

He moves a bit closer to Sam and the smile she gives him almost makes his heart melt. Niall has trouble staying still as he smiles back at her. He loves his friends, but he is kind of looking forward to getting to spend nights after the shows with her alone.

The bar they go to is right around the corner from their hotel and Niall makes sure to sit by Sam in the booth.

“Niall.” Matt practically yells. Niall’s head snaps up, not realizing that he was caught in his own thoughts, “Yeah man?”

“Come help me grab drinks for the table.” Niall’s confused but follows him. Matt smirks as the bartender starts making their drinks, “That girl’s been checking you out since we walked in.” He points out a beautiful girl in the corner who, sure enough, is eyeing Niall.

He shrugs, “she’s cute, but you know that I’m not into hookups much anymore.”

“Come on, man. How long has it even been since you’ve gotten some? It’s the last night together of tour, you might as well have some fun.”

Niall looks over at Sam. Almost as if she can sense him, she looks up and gives him a smile as their eyes meet. “Maybe I will tonight.”

Matt snaps at him, causing Niall to turn towards him quickly as Matt lowers his voice, “come on, you can’t be serious. Her? Really?”

Niall nods, “Yeah. Sam.” Before Matt can say something else to him, Niall shakes his head, “I know you don’t see it, but she’s easy to talk to. She always makes me laugh, we have similar tastes in music. We just get along naturally.”

Matt realizes that nothing he can say will stop him, but he can make him wait it out. He knows that tomorrow, they’ll be gone from each other for a few weeks. Maybe in that time, Niall will come to his senses. Matt grabs the drinks and heads back to the table, sliding in next to Sam. “First rounds on us, lady and not-so-gents!”

The rest of the night, Matt almost refuses to move for even a minute and keeps Sam in the booth. Niall can’t even get a minute alone with her and it gets harder and harder for him to hold in his feelings the more drinks he consumes.

Finally, Sam basically begs Matt to let her out so she can go to the bathroom. Despite Matt’s best efforts, Niall slides off not too soon after and waits for her to come out of the bathroom.

Sam opens the door and almost runs directly into Niall. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”

Sam tells him that it’s ok and Niall realizes that it’s awkward that he was just waiting for her outside the bathroom. “I’ll be just a minute. Wait here?”

Sam laughs, “trust me, I won’t get back in that booth with Matt refusing to let me out for the rest of the night.”

Niall makes the trip quick and then heads straight to Sam. “Want to go off on our own?” He nods to an empty booth that’s in the corner away from the crowds and their meddling friend.

The pair slide into the booth and Niall instinctively wraps his arm around her and starts playing with the curls that frame her face. “You look really beautiful tonight,” he tells her, a bit nervously. Niall doesn’t normally have an issue being flirty with girls he likes, but he also has never fallen this hard with someone before he’s made a move.

Sam looks up at him and she sees something in his face. It’s a look that honestly kind of scares her. Things with Niall always feel so effortless and it terrifies her that this could be more than just friends or hookups like she’s used to. She reaches up and hooks her fingers with his.

Niall gives her a hand a squeeze and decides to be honest. “God, I’m terrified.”

“Of me?” Sam laughs, even though she kind of already knows. She knows from their talks that Niall’s terrified of having his heart broken again. He’s basically sworn off dating, so she knows if he’s willing to put himself out there like this, she should meet him halfway and, if she’s being honest with herself, she’s terrified too.

He laughs quietly and shakes his head, “you see? This is why I can’t get you out of my head. You make all the terrifying things that I’ve been avoiding for over a year feel easy. You make me want to get through the fear because I know we could have something special.”

The breath catches in Sam’s throat as she realizes what he’s saying. “Is it too early to call it a night? We could head back to the hotel and talk there….” Sam asks and Niall bites his lip nervously, “yeah, let’s head back.”

Niall’s never been so thankful for the cool night air. He normally gets a bit hot when he’s been drinking, but wondering what Sam’s thinking is enough to have his face red from anxiety and anticipation.

The walk back to the hotel is silent and Niall debates holding her hand the entire way back. He feels like a schoolboy on his first date all over again. Every action is questioned and seems wrong.

Sam feels the tension in the air and reaches over and squeezes his hand. It’s three squeezes before he looks up at her. “I’m terrified too.” She admits to him. Somehow, that alone is enough to ease his anxiety until they’re at the door of her hotel room.

She bites her lip before leaning up and Niall doesn’t let her think twice as he breaks the distance between the two of them. His hands are immediately on her face, rubbing his thumb across her jaw as they kiss.

If she was terrified before, she’s fucking scared shitless now. Sam was hoping maybe they’d kiss and it’d be terrible or he’d be like psych just kidding! But it feels comfortable, like something she could do her entire life. And that thought scares her more than anything else in her life. But she knows that he’s probably just as scared, and that gives her the courage to at least see where this goes.

Niall’s lips leave hers and his forehead presses against her own. She opens her eyes and sees a big smile on his face. “I don’t want to go too fast…” Niall starts, even though he would honestly love to follow her into her room and not leave until he has to be in New Zealand in a couple weeks.

Sam sighs, “Honestly… I do need to get some sleep. I have a flight early tomorrow for the break.

Niall nods and gives her a quick peck on the lips, “alright, sleep well.”

Sam heads into her room and her heart is pounding out of her chest as she lays in bed. She’s just starting to come to terms with what just happened when her text notification goes off.

So you and Niall huh?

Sam laughs at Luke’s text and responds, “how do you know ALREADY? He just dropped me off!” Two texts come through pretty quickly.

He called me. I’m in this dirty club bathroom Matt dragged me to once he realized you guys left listening to Niall gush about you.

If he mysteriously hangs up on me suddenly, I wouldn’t take offense ;)

Sam sends him a “pervert!” text before heading to the mirror and looking at herself in it. Even though she’d been teased about her size most of her childhood, Sam thinks she has a pretty good relationship with her body.

With her clothes on, she loves it. Sam’s been able to find the right cuts that make her feel comfortable and confident. Even without clothes, Sam finds herself just as beautiful. She’s learned to love and appreciate her body: the too wide hips, the cellulite that forms over most of her thighs and stomach, the rolls of her tummy that don’t disappear when she stands, like those of the plus size models she normally follows.

But Sam is also aware that her body isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. She’s seen the type of girls Niall’s been with in the past. When she looks at herself in the mirror now, all she can see are the differences. The deep purple stretch marks along her stomach, thighs, and boobs. The way her boobs sag ever so slightly. The untamed hair making its way from her thighs all the way up to her lower stomach.

Sam knows Niall won’t care, and that even if he does, she wouldn’t want to be with someone who hates her body. Yet, she can’t get the thought of him looking at her in disgust.

Sam sighs and pulls some clothes back on as she climbs into bed. She knows she has to let Niall see her eventually if they decide to try something, but the least she can do is use her time at home to primp a bit. At least get a Brazilian and something besides the raggedy underwear she’s been wearing and washing every couple weeks.

Sam checks her phone to see a final message from Luke.

He really likes you.

She can’t stop herself from smiling as she lays down to sleep. She really likes him too and she’s willing to work through all of her fear for him.


	8. Hometown Reunion

Sam enjoys her two weeks off. She spends a lot of time catching up on sleep and hanging out with her friends. Things with Niall are still pretty early on and not at all defined, so Sam only feels comfortable telling Kelsea about what happened with him before she came back.

When Kelsea learns that she’s got a chance to travel the world with a hot guy who she’s crushing on, she goes into full best friend mode. The last few days home are spent just “getting ready” to see Niall again.

Kelsea takes her to get a Brazilian. As proof that the friends are too close, they get theirs done side by side. Sam laughs, “I can’t believe you’re getting your vag waxed with me. Is this too intimate?”

Kelsea grimaces as a strip of hair is pulled off suddenly. “Eh, I thought it’d be fun. Plus I figure I can always give Brad a show of the bald pussy. Maybe he’ll finally do the fucking dishes for once.”

While the two head to one of the lingerie stores in the city, Sam gets a text from Niall. Their communication has been sporadic the past few weeks. The first week, Niall was with his family and in London. He still made time to call her each night just to catch up on her day, which is something Sam appreciated. She’s spent a lot of time wondering if he regrets the kiss or if he’ll realize he doesn’t like her during their time apart. Yet, each night Niall seems genuinely excited to hear from her and always asks about her day and listens intently to her talk about Kelsea or her mom.

Now that Niall’s in LA, they’ve been able to text throughout the day and he still calls her at night. Even though they talk every night, they still haven’t talked about their kiss or what it meant.

“When are you planning on heading to New Zealand?” His text reads and Sam smiles and tells him the flight that the company got for her. Niall responds quickly with, “want to fly with me? I can fly to you first and we can spend the day together before heading to New Zealand.”

Sam accepts almost immediately. Even though they’re kind of in this weird in between stage, she likes Niall a lot is and is excited to introduce him to her best friend. If Kelsea likes him, then things can proceed. She shows Kelsea the text and her friend hugs her, “He is so into you! Flying to see you? How romantic!”

The pair pick out some items for Sam to take with her on the next leg of tour. This leg is shorter, only two weeks with all the Australian and Asian shows before another two weeks off and then the longest leg so far: the American portion.

Kelsea begs her way to the airport to help pick up Niall. She wants to meet the guy that Sam’s fallen for and make sure he knows that if something happens, she’ll pull herself and her three kids to Asia to kick his ass if she needs to.

Sam and Kelsea wait by baggage claim with a cute sign that says “Chad.” It’s this joke Niall has with his bandmate where they pretend to be American frat bros. Sam didn’t want to write Niall on the card in case it draws attention to him being here, so she figured this was the next best option.

As soon as Niall sees Sam, his eyes light up and his arms wrap around her as he pulls her into him and whispers in her ear how much he missed her. Kelsea was a little worried that he was just taking advantage of Sam. She’s seen her friend go through guy after guy who never seemed to appreciate Sam for the girl she is. But when she watches their reunion, it’s easy for her to see that they’re actually into each other.

Niall grabs the sign and starts laughing, “god, I’ve got to send this to Conner, he’ll get a kick out of it.” He works on taking a pic and sending it and then notices the tall blonde next to his… well, he doesn’t know exactly what she is. “Oh hi! Sorry, I’m so rude. I’m Niall.”

“Nice to meet you, Niall! I’m Sam’s best friend, Kelsea. You’re definitely as cute as she said.”

“Oh yeah?” Niall flirts, tossing his arm around Sam’s shoulder, “and how cute are we talking here?”

Kelsea pipes up, “oh, I’m sure she’ll show you just how cute she finds you tonight.” She winks and jumps out of the way as Sam goes to smack her. “Kelsea!!”

Niall throws his head back and laughs as he runs to get his bags. “God, no wonder you got along with me and my friends. You’ve got your own Luke right here. He’s single, by the way. If you’re looking.” Niall adds, trying to help his friend out.

Kelsea raises her hand and laughs, “husband and three kids. But if this Luke guy will clean the house, I would be open to a polyamorous situation.”

Niall laughs as the three of them head to Kelsea’s car. Niall kind of wanted to have a few moments alone with Sam in the backseat, but the car seats make it so Sam has to sit up front and him in the back. “You hungry?” Kelsea asks and when he says he is, she takes them to one of their favorite places. The two girls up front rock out to some old school pop songs that they sing between discussions and Sam expertly bridges the conversation between him and her hometown friend so he doesn’t feel awkward or out of place. By the time they get to the restaurant, Niall already feels part of their group.

“So, how long have you guys been friends?” He asks while he munches on some fries. Niall’s happy that he decided to make the trip early. He’s really only known Sam around his friends. It’s nice to see her in her own environment.

“Since elementary school actually!” Sam starts. Niall keeps his hand around her waist while they talk, enjoying being able to touch her for the first time since their first kiss. “We’re actually from this small town about half an hour from here. Our school was really only 40 people, so Kelsea and I found each other and became best friends.”

Kelsea continues the story, “we ended up having a nice sized friend group in high school, probably six of us total. But we were always the closest. And just so you know, regardless of what happens, I’ll always be her best friend.”

Sam laughs and leans into Niall, “Sorry, I probably forgot to tell you. You have no shot of being my best friend.”

“Well, I’m a little upset. But I’ll be happy to be #2.” He lowers his voice and jokes, “do I have a shot at being #2? Or do you have another friend I don’t want to piss off?”

Kelsea nods, “I like him. He knows the order of things.”

Once they finish dinner, they head back to Sam’s town. Niall got a hotel room here and Sam told her parents she was staying at Kelsea’s so she could spend the night with him.

“So, what is there to do here?” Niall asks as he lays in the too stiff bed. On the way here, it seemed that the closer they got to the hotel, the less there was around.

Sam laughs, “absolutely nothing… Kelsea and I used to go to Walmart and walk around the aisles talking. When we got old enough to drive, we’d always be in Chicago instead. This place is dead.”

“Was it weird going from this to the places we’ve toured?” Niall asks, enjoying their time to talk alone. He enjoyed their time on tour: the nights at the pubs and late night talks when they couldn’t sleep, but it’s nice to have time for just them now.

Sam lays next to him, “Yeah, it was. Like that first week in London? I felt like I was on sensory overload. But as we explored more places, it became more comfortable to me. Like coming back here where everything closes at 9 PM, I really missed our nights out.”

Niall sticks his bottom lip out and pouts, “and did you miss me?”

Sam laughs and kisses him as a response. Their two weeks apart really allowed Niall to see how much he was into her. He’s still terrified of getting deep into this, completely falling for her, and then her deciding she doesn’t want to be with him. But he’s trying to take it slow and not get too caught up or rush it and let things just happen organically.

Sam pulls away from him and smiles, “Yeah, guess you could say I missed you.” Niall laughs, “I missed you too. Clearly since I couldn’t wait even an extra day to see you.”

Sam jokes, “Yeah, you clearly like me. How embarrassing.” Niall laughs and pulls her close, “god, you like me too! Don’t act like I’m the only obvious one!”

Sam can’t stop laughing as she runs her fingers along his jaw and takes in the guy underneath her. In their two week absence, his beard has grown in pretty heavily, which somehow makes him look even more handsome than she remembered. His face is slightly red and she knows that he probably spent too long in the sun. His lips are already slightly pink and puffy from their kissing.

Niall lets her take a few minutes as he watches her in silence and his thoughts turn to what this thing between them is. He’s a little scared that she’ll jump off his lap and tell him that she doesn’t want this or she thinks they’ve made a mistake.

But she doesn’t. When her eyes finally reaches his, she giggles like a schoolgirl who has been caught red-handed. Niall shakes his head and leans in for a small kiss before Sam falls away from him and leans back on the bed.

Something in her body language lets him know that she’s not ready for anything physical tonight and Niall’s not one to push her into something she’s not ready for. He lays on his stomach beside her and takes her hand and runs his fingers along all the creases in it, trying to memorize the parts of her he can.

“What are you doing?” She asks him after her hand starts tingling from how long he’s been rubbing it. He shrugs, “just enjoying our time together.”

“You’re sooooo lame,” she teases him and he responds with a “no, you!” that causes her to let out a loud, boisterous laugh.

Niall can’t stop himself from smiling as he turns to her. He watches her eyes water from laughter and he can’t help but think about how lucky he is to be here right now.

He knows that they have to talk eventually. Talk soon, actually. They’ve got no definition of what’s going on between them. Their last minute coupling before a two week distance didn’t give them time to discuss or work through anything.

Although, Niall knew he was anxious about it the whole time. What if she came back after two weeks and decided she didn’t really like him? He made sure he put time aside each day to talk to her so hopefully that wouldn’t happen. His parents teased him about a girlfriend when he would excuse himself to his room at the same hour everyday because he knew that was right before she went to bed. 

He didn’t want to give her time to decide that he wasn’t worth it. Being here with her now, he feels like that would be embarrassing to admit. As soon as they saw each other again, it was like they’d never parted.

Yet, he’s still scared to bring it up. What if she tells him she doesn’t want a relationship? Or that she’s just enjoying his attention? He’s terrified of all the things she could say that would break his heart now that he’s put himself out there like this. But he’s in no rush to have that conversation. He knows if it goes a way he doesn't want, it could be the end of them. Right now, he’d rather be a little dumb and selfish and just enjoy the moment. He’ll let future him deal with the repercussions if she’s not interested in a relationship with him.

Sam can tell that something is going on in his brain, but she doesn’t interrupt his thoughts. She kind of enjoys this: the comfortable silence between the two. It doesn’t feel like they have to fill every second with conversation. Once again, she notes how completely comfortable she feels in his company and she’s slowly fighting against the thoughts in her brain screaming that it’s a trap or she should get out. She’s willing to fight those thoughts because she fully believes that Niall won’t intentionally hurt her.


	9. Butterflies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has a small smut scene. Please feel free to skip if it makes you uncomfortable.

Niall is in Brisbane today with his cousins enjoying the day off while Sam is working. Yet, he finds himself compulsively checking his phone for when Sam is done with her work duties. Moving the entire stage is big work and, as the assistant tour manager, she’s got to be there to help oversee it. But Niall also knows that he wants to spend as much time with her as he can when she’s off from work.

His cousins see him checking his phone and keep teasing him. They know that he’s got to have some girl he’s crushing on. Niall’s tried not to let many people know about him and Sam yet. There’s a lot of little complications: the fact that she works for him and him not even knowing what they are yet being the two main ones. He doesn’t want to gush to everyone he knows about this girl if she’s not on the same page as him.

When Niall receives the text that Sam’s done with work, he wastes no time saying goodbye to his family and heading back to the hotel.

Sam was in a rush this morning. After the show the night before, her and Niall spent most of the night wrapped in each other’s embrace as they tried to binge watch Netflix shows. When the alarm went off in the morning, she snoozed it as long as she could and went to work with her greasy hair in a bun.

She texted Niall that she was off and hopped in the shower. Niall was telling her last night all about his cousins here and how he loves seeing them, so she wasn’t expecting a knock on the door just 20 minutes later as she was getting out of the shower.

Sam tosses a towel over her body as she opens it. “Hey Niall, you’re back early.”

“Yeah, you said you were off. I wanted to spend it with you,” he says as he walks in the room. His eyes wander when he realizes that the girl he’s been seeing is in nothing but a towel.

While the two have no issue making out, they’ve not gone beyond that. Everytime Niall’s hands start to wander, he feels Sam tense up and so he hasn’t pushed her.

Yet, he can’t help himself from enjoying the view in front of him just a bit. Sam’s dark hair is unbrushed and cascading down her shoulders. The towel drapes around her figure nicely and he can see more of her than he has before.

When his eyes meet hers, his blush grows almost as deep as hers. He was checking her out and she knew it. “Um, let me just get dressed quickly.”

Niall nods and sits on the bed. Sam grabs a few items of clothing and goes to the bathroom to change. She feels so awkward being in front of Niall almost naked.

Even though he’s checking her out, she can’t stop the little voice at the back of her head from screaming at her that he won’t like her body. For the time being, she’s ok with abstaining. She’s hoping the more time she spends with Niall and sees that he likes her, the less that voice will scream at her. It’s nice Niall isn’t pushing her and letting her be ready in her own time.

Sam comes out of the bathroom dressed with her hair brushed out. “So what are we doing today?”

Niall smiles wide. He’s been thinking about the next few days since their kiss in Portugal. He has a show then a day off for the next three shows here, so they have time to spend together and he’s got a few ideas of how to spend them. “One of my cousins told me about this butterfly sanctuary there. I thought we could check it out.”

“That sounds awesome!” Sam says, while she tries not to overthink about him asking his cousins about places to take her. Even though they’ve spent all their time off together the past few days, they haven’t defined their relationship yet. She’s trying to piece all the clues he gives her together so she doesn’t get her hopes up if he’s not into her the same way she is into him.

Niall leads Sam to the sanctuary. The place is just a huge building full of butterflies. He pays for them each to have a couple cups of nectar and they sit on a bench as butterflies come over to them and sit on their hands to eat.

He watches her smile brighten as she has four or five on her hand at one time. Niall tries to remember every detail of her. He loves seeing her like this: completely happy. He knows that she’s been struggling and feeling a bit insecure lately. Niall’s never been great at knowing what to say during moments like that. He usually tries to just be there for her and let her know that he won’t leave. But for now, he wants to memorize the look of pure joy on her face and hope that one day it never leaves.

When she turns and catches him looking at her, she can’t help but giggle as she slowly leans into him, trying not to scare the butterflies. “This is incredible! Thanks for bringing me here.”

Niall smiles and kisses the top of her head, “Of course. I thought it’d be something you enjoy.” Plus his cousin told him that he brought a girl here on a first date and it ended up being way more romantic than he had planned. But Niall was hoping for romantic, so he figured it would be perfect.

“I love it.” Sam smiles. A butterfly comes over and lands directly on Niall’s head. Sam starts laughing so hard, “don’t move, don’t move!” She uses her free hand to grab her phone and takes a pic of Niall.

Niall takes her phone from her and also snaps a few pics of her with her ever-growing group of butterflies. “I’d say they like you almost as much as I do.”

Sam laughs and shakes her head, “god, you’re so lame.” Niall leans in and gives her a quick kiss, “as long as you like lame, I’m fine with that.”

Sam crinkles her nose up and gives him another kiss. They enjoy the rest of their day off together and Sam is already peppering Niall with questions about their next one.

“It’s a secret,” Niall jokes with her, not wanting to give it up just yet. Sam pouts and Niall laughs and gives her a kiss, “nope. Gotta be patient.”

Sam continues to pout and every time she sticks her lip out, Niall places a kiss on them. Before they know it, Niall’s on top of her and their kisses don’t seem to be stopping.

Niall decides to take the chance and runs his hand up her shirt. Sam feels comfortable in his arms and doesn’t push him away. That is, until his hands brush across her stomach and her gut reaction is to jump back from him. “Sorry… I just don’t think…”

Sam knows she needs to work through it, but it’s difficult when she still worries about him being attracted to her. Niall runs his hand through his hair as he sits up. He feels like they need to talk about it.

“What’s wrong?” He asks and Sam sighs. She bites her lip and decides to be open, “I’m just worried about my body… The other girls you’ve been with haven’t been as heavy as me and I’m scared that you’re going to see my body and run.”

Niall shakes his head as soon as she mentions her weight. He takes her hand and when she’s done, he kisses it. “No, definitely not. If you’re not comfortable or you just want to wait, that’s fine. I’m not going to pressure you. But if it’s just about your body, I won’t accept that. I know I’m attracted to you and I won’t run.”

Sam has a hard time looking him in the eye, not quite wanting to admit how much it scares her that he thinks this but when she gets naked, he’ll feel differently.

“Your weight has never mattered to me. I don’t think it matters at all. I like you so much and I want to have sex with you and do everything with you. I mean, you can be on top or sit on my face or anything. Just like we would regardless of your weight.”

Something about the way her eyes grow a bit wide when he suggests the last item it makes him smirk. He decides to pivot the conversation a bit and asks, “Do you want to sit on my face?”

Sam feels a bit embarrassed. Most of the guys she’s been with would love to grab her boobs or her ass or comment on her being thick, but she’s never been eaten out. And she has definitely never sat on someone’s face before. Sam nods before she can think about it. She knows they were having a heart to heart, but honestly the thought of doing something with Niall where she doesn’t have to be naked and can test the waters, so to speak, is what she wants. She likes the way that Niall makes her feel.

Niall shrugs. “Come on then, babe.” He pushes himself down flat on the bed. Sam’s nervous, but she pulls off her jeans and underwear. She hovers over Niall’s face, a bit uneasy about accidentally suffocating him. She can see all the headlines saying he died from suffocation due to her fat ass.

The thoughts are running rampant through her mind when Niall runs his hands up her thighs. “You ok?” He asks and she nods, “Yeah, I think so.” Her thoughts are silenced when Niall leans up and licks across her slit. It’s a new sensation for Sam and she tries to stop thinking about her insecurities as she tries to get Niall’s tongue deeper in her while still hovering over him.

Sam feels Niall’s chin rubbing against her butt cheeks and she decides to crack a joke to make herself more comfortable. “It’s a good thing I got a wax or you’d probably have carpet burn all over your face tomorrow.”

Niall lets out a large guffaw of a laugh and the vibrations of it against her makes her moan. He takes that as a sign and pulls her hips closer to him, wanting so bad for her to stop thinking about her weight or her body not being good enough.

Almost accidentally, Niall’s nose rubs against her clit and Sam moans and grinds her hips against his face, desperate for that contact again. Once she finds the exact spot, she completely forgets all of her hesitations and leans back on her hands, grinding her hips repeatedly into Niall’s face. Her buildup comes agonizingly slow from his nose against her clit and his tongue deep inside of her. She spends minutes feeling close, until finally it feels like the dam bursts and she comes harder than she ever has before.

Sam needs a few minutes to catch her breath and she sits back on Niall’s chest while she calms down. Only after a minute does she realize that she’s sitting on him. “Oh shit, sorry.” She says, jumping off of him. She starts feeling self conscious again, hoping she wasn’t too selfish.

Niall shakes his head, “No, that was amazing.” He hasn’t done anything in almost a year since things with Renee ended. He knows it’s been a while, but he’s almost positive he’s never had an experience as incredible as Sam riding his face, desperate for her orgasm. “Trust me, you don’t need to apologize at all.”

Sam nods as her breath starts to return to normal. Then, she realizes she never got him off. “Your turn?” She asks, wanting to show him that she’s into him as well.

Sam reaches down between Niall’s legs and starts running her hands along his already-hard shaft. Niall’s eyes close as he moans at someone besides himself touching him. Sam gives him a few tugs before reaching into his pants and wraps her lips around his tip. She barely puts him in her mouth when he comes.

Niall blushes, a bit embarrassed. “Sorry, I just haven’t done anything since my relationship ended… think I’m a little sensitive.” He feels weird bringing up Renee, especially since he’s got this incredible woman in front of him, but he doesn’t want her thinking that he is normally that easy to get off.

Sam nods, wiping her hand on some tissues on the nightstand. She wants to understand Niall more. She decides to ask him the question that’s been on her mind since the first time they discussed his ex. “Can I ask…. what about that relationship was so bad you swore off dating for so long?”

Niall sighs, “I think it was more of the breakup than the relationship itself… I’ve had lots of little relationships. You know, a couple months and then you guys fight and just don’t call each other again. It was easy with those because I had reasons. Oh I didn’t introduce her to my friends. Or I forgot her birthday. Things that I knew I could work on and do better. So when I found someone I was willing to get past the first fight with, I had a list of things I knew to not do. We had fights, but we worked through them. So when it ended… when she ended it, I didn’t have a reason. You know? I didn’t have something I could pinpoint and say “oh I’ll just have to do this better.” Instead, it just felt like she slowly fell out of love with me.” He turns to Sam and sighs. He feels comfortable enough with her to tell her the truth. “I know I told you it was because of my career… but maybe I just tell myself that. And maybe I used it as an excuse not to get into anything. I’m scared that maybe it was actually me she was running from.”

Sam nods and Niall continues, “For me, I always get into new relationships full stop. I get my hopes up and see it lasting every time. So whenever I found a girl attractive, I’d just walk away. So I wouldn’t have to go through it again.”

Niall realizes what he said at the same time Sam does. Her voice sounds uncharacteristically small as she asks, “So you’re not attracted to me…”

Niall runs his tongue across his lips and hopes he can make her understand. The absolute last thing he wants is for her to have that idea. “Honestly, I wasn’t at the beginning… but as I got to know you, it’s become so hard for me to understand why I wasn’t.”

He reaches for her hand as he tells her, “I know it sounds terrible to say and honestly, I look back and wonder how I couldn’t see how gorgeous you were that first night. I wish I had, because you’re absolutely stunning and I kick myself for not seeing that the second I saw you smile or the way your eyes absolutely lit up when Time after Time started. Yet, I’m also a bit happy I didn’t, because if I did, I probably never would have gotten the chance to be here with you now.”

Sam bites her lip as she works through what he just told her. She knows she shouldn’t be surprised, really. She always knew that she’d never be one of those people who got a “love at first sight” meeting. Those were usually reserved for the girls who were drop dead gorgeous. Yet, hearing the guy that she’s completely fallen for casually admit that he didn’t find her attractive at all when they first met is a bit gut wrenching.

She finally looks up at Niall and all she can see is the pain in his eyes. “Please, I don’t want this to be over already…” he pleads.

Sam sighs. She’s hurt, but she doesn’t want to lose this moment with him. He’s the first guy who seems to actually like her. She tells him what she thinks he wants to hear. “I’m not running, Niall. That night in Portugal… I made the choice to do this with you. The whole walk back, I thought about everything and I decided to be with you. It’s a little hurtful hearing you weren’t attracted to me at first, but I’m not going to use it as an excuse to run.” Even though that’s exactly what she wants to do.

Niall smiles and pulls her into his arms. He kisses the top of her head as they lay back on the bed, “then I promise that I’ll spend everyday making sure you know how much I’m attracted to you and how much I like you.” They fall asleep in each other’s arms and Sam tries to push aside the pervasive thoughts telling her that she should have known he wasn’t attracted to her.


	10. Surf Lessons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This part contains smut

Niall’s been so excited that he’s had a hard time keeping his plans underwraps. Him and Sam went out yesterday after the show with the band for a few pints and it took everything in him to not blurt out, “I’m going to teach you to surf.”

Since he’s not on any time schedule, he lets Sam sleep in. Since she’s been staying in the same room with him, he’s started to see how much sleep she gives up. Sam goes out with him at night and stays until he’s ready to come back to the hotel, usually around 1 or 2, and then she has to be up by 6 to make it to the venue.

He orders them breakfast delivered to their room and Sam wakes up almost as soon as it’s delivered. “God that smells good,” She tells him, her voice low and her eyes heavy with sleep. Sam drags the comforter with her to the table so they can eat together.

“So, you gonna tell me what your plan for today is yet, Ni?” Sam asks. He’s been elusive about what he has planned. It makes her a little excited, there’s so much to do in Sydney that it would be impossible for her to even start to guess.

“Well, I thought we could participate in the great Australian past time-surfing. I’ve done it a bit on my trips here. Not enough to teach someone else, but I’m going to be your teacher regardless.” Niall laughs.

Sam instantly wakes up, ready for this. “Really? That seems like a lot of fun. I’ve always wanted to try my hand at surfing.”

“I know, I’m perfect at planning our days off. You don’t have to keep complimenting me.” Niall jokes and Sam laughs and pushes him slightly as she puts her empty breakfast plate back on the cart.

“I’m going to get changed then. Don’t I have to wear some surfing suit? Or can I just wear my bathing suit?”

“Well, we do have to wear the suit, but I have us a couple rentals waiting at this place on the beach. You definitely should bring your bathing suit with you though. Or just wear it there. The less clothes you want to wear the better.”

Sam shakes her head and laughs. Niall is such a boy sometimes it’s funny. She decides to tease him, running her fingers through his hair, “Oh yeah? What if I wanted to spend our day off here, no clothes, not leaving the room the whole day.”

Niall feels his mouth dry up as his eyes flick from her face down her body. “Fuck surfing. I’ll fly us back down here after tour ends and teach you then.” He pulls the girl he’s been seeing down onto his lap as he places dry kisses on her neck.

“Niall!” Sam draws his name out as she pushes his face away from her neck, trying to keep herself from giggling, “It’s just a joke! I’m excited for the surf lessons.”

“You’re such a tease.” Niall pouts and Sam gives him a peck on the lips as she goes to change. She brought a bathing suit she’s had for a while with her. She thinks of it as an oldie but a goodie. It’s a plain red one piece, but she loves the way it wraps around her body and it always makes her boobs look nice.

She comes out of the bathroom after changing and Niall’s scrolling on his phone, answering a few fans on twitter. He looks up when he hears the bathroom door open and drops his phone on the bed. “Wow.”

Sam has to admit, she does enjoy the attention he gives her a bit. She’s worked hard in her 25 years to love and accept her body, yet every time she gives Niall a glimpse of it, he seems to love it so effortlessly. She’s still a bit insecure about her body and has a hard time getting past what he told her a few days ago, but she tries because it’s obvious when he’s looking at her now that he’s attracted to her.

A smile creeps up on Niall’s face as he takes her in. “Don’t know how I got so lucky…” Sam blushes as she crosses the room and wraps her arms around his neck. Her lips are on his in an instant. She’s been so scared that she wouldn’t be good enough for him, but the way he was looking at her makes that notion seem dumb.

The pair kiss until their lips are red and plump and Sam has to pull herself off of him. “If we want to go surfing, we should probably head out soon.”

Niall shrugs, “I wasn’t joking about just flying us back down after tour.” Sam laughs and shakes her head, “I’m sure you weren’t, babe. But you’ve been so excited about today, we can finish this later though, yeah?”

Niall groans and nods, albeit reluctantly. Sam giggles and kisses him, “Come on, go get changed. I promise, we can do this later.” He heads to the bathroom to put on his trunks, a pair of light pink ones.

Sam gives him a bit of a whistle when he comes out and Niall does a twirl for her, “oh gosh this old thing?”

As usual, he makes her laugh every time he opens his mouth. The pair head down to the beach and Niall has them surf suit and board rentals waiting. They change and head down to a secluded spot on the beach.

Niall places the board on the sand and starts, “ok, let’s get placement down first.” He hops on his board in the middle and finds a balance. “This is the most important part to stay on.”

Sam matches his pose and Niall enjoys correcting her by wrapping his arms around her waist and leaving kisses along her neck. He can hear her giggle, “Niall! This isn’t gonna help me surf! If you wanted to do the Beyoncé surfboard, we could have just stayed at the hotel!”

Niall laughs and lets go of her, “fair enough, I just enjoy touching you when I can.” Sam gives him a wink and he laughs, “not in that way! Well, in that way too.”

Sam wraps her arms around his neck as she laughs and Niall grabs the boards and heads to the water. He keeps his hands around her waist as he helps her up on the board.

He gives Sam some different pointers and she tries to ride a wave a few times. After being thrown off twice, she goes to drop her board off on the sand.

Niall catches a few waves, trying to impress her. When he also gets thrown off, he comes back to the beach sulking and pouting. “I’m usually pretty good.”

“Oh baby I’m sure you’re usually amazing.” Sam jokes and he shakes his head, mumbling “can’t believe you don’t believe me.”

Sam laughs and kisses the side of his head as he suggests they just lay on the beach. They spend the majority of the day talking. It’s not until they go to return their surfing items that Sam notices that Niall’s face is red. “Did you forget sunscreen again?!”

Niall groans, “fuck. I’m red aren’t I?” He catches a glimpse of himself in the window and sighs, “every fucking time.”

Sam shakes her head, “You’re like constantly sunburnt at this point.” She giggles, “I think the sun likes you.”

“I wish she’d take the hint that I’m not interested, I’ve used an entire bottle of aloe on this tour already!”

The entire walk back to their hotel is filled with laughter and Sam teasing him about his red face. Even though he’s being teased, Niall can’t stop himself from smiling.

Last year, he never thought he’d be at this point. He was sure he would never fall for someone again, but seeing how effortlessly him and Sam fit together, he can’t believe he was reluctant to let her in.

When they get back to their room, Niall wastes no time wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her close. Sam meets his lips as the pair move towards the bed. Sam ends up on her back on the bed as Niall takes a chance to just take her in. “God, you’re gorgeous.”

Niall runs his hands along the sides of her waist and Sam tries hard to not blush or make up an excuse to run away. She takes the time to look Niall up and down. His pink suit is clinging to his thighs and the more Sam takes him in, the harder it is for her to wait. She sighs, “Can you please fuck me?”

Niall’s eyes instantly run up to hers. She’s been shy about them being intimate and now she’s demanding it. “All you had to do was ask, Sam.” His lips attach to her neck as he pulls the top of her suit down to her waist. His lips trail to her nipple and works on placing wet, hot kisses on her body.

Sam runs her fingers through his hair and Niall moans against her skin. “I love having my hair played with,” He tells her. Sam giggles and uses both of her hands to mess up his hair and Niall responds by placing little bites on her breasts.

Sam moans and Niall knows that this is actually going to happen. He pulls the rest of her suit down her hips and tosses it across the room. He turns back to her and his eyes trail from her chest down her body while a smile slowly forms on his lips.

Sam watches his face take her in, trying to find even a hint of hesitation or something to prove that her feelings were accurate. Instead, his eyes head back up her body and when they reach hers, he gives her a smile before his lips meet hers again. “You’ve got nothing to worry about. Your body is my favorite.”

Niall tangles his fingers in Sam’s hair as they kiss. He wants this so bad, but he wants to take his time and not rush anything. His kisses linger on Sam’s lips as she reaches to help him remove his trunks. Immediately, it’s clear how attracted to her he is.

Sam giggles, the sound vibrating against Niall’s lips. “Definitely no reason for me to worry.”

Niall laughs and gives her ass a slap as he sits up and pulls her hips down to his. Sam wraps her legs around his body and Niall slowly pushes himself into her. The moans he receives from that motion are almost heavenly.

Niall starts to move inside of her, trying to get acclimated to how warm and soft her body is. It’s hard for him to understand how anyone could have this sight in front of them and not immediately fall in love with her.

He leans down and places small kisses on Sam’s lips as he rolls his hips into hers. Each time he goes deeper, he receives moans in return. The way that Niall’s taking care of Sam makes her more vocal than she’s ever been.

Niall falls against her, his breath hot against her ear as he grinds into her. The sweat is already pouring down his face as Sam’s mumbling about how good he feels with her hands tied up in his wet hair.

“I need you deeper,” Niall hears and he groans as he leans back on his knees as he grabs a pillow and places it under Sam’s back. He grabs on either side of her hips as he works on going as deep as he can. His eyes flick between her tits bopping with each trust and her face to memorize the way it looks when she’s full of complete ecstasy.

Niall grabs her hands and holds them both above her head as his lips meet hers. He keeps his thrusts as hard and steady as he can. Sam traps his bottom lip between her teeth and pulls on it as her tongue enters his. “You’re so fucking good,” she whispers against his lips.

“That’s what every man wants to hear,” he responds. The laugh that he receives in return is enough to make him lose control. “Oh fuck.” Niall pulls out of her quickly, since he remembers way too late that he didn’t bother to grab a condom. He ends up letting lose on her stomach.

“God, sorry.” He mumbles against her face as he pulls his exhausted body off of hers and grabs a towel from the bathroom. He wipes off his hands and then Sam’s stomach.

Niall keeps his eyes on the towel as he’s worried that Sam would be upset that she didn’t get off. When he finally catches sight of her face, her eyes are closed and her face looks calm. He smiles and places a kiss on her lips. “I enjoyed the day off with you.”

Sam opens her eyes and looks into his as her lips part and give him the biggest smile he’s ever seen. “You’re just saying that because you got laid.” Niall lets out a loud laugh as his lips instinctively meet hers.


	11. The Talk

Niall decided that over their three day break between Oceania and Asia, he would take Sam to the Gili Islands in Indonesia. He found an Airbnb with it’s own private beach and a romantic dinner setup on the beach. As he was looking for places to stay, he could just imagine himself asking Sam to be his girlfriend there.

Even though Niall is nervous, he is pretty sure that, at this point, they’re exclusive. They spend pretty much every second they’re not working together, but he wants to make it official, and he’s confident that Sam feels the same way about him that he feels about her. At first, he was nervous that she would think it was a drunk kiss. But after he’s seen how much they’ve enjoyed their time alone and how she’s overcome her insecurities to be intimate with him, he knows that he can let himself fall for her.

Honestly, he had already started to fall for her before he was sure. The biggest issue for Niall is that he always gets into relationships early and gets his hopes up. It’s hard to not be that way around Sam, but he’s trying hard to go at a natural pace. The last thing he wants to do is to scare her off.

After the show in Melbourne, he waits for Sam to finish her checklist. It’s the latest he’s ever left the venue and he is, once again, amazed at all the time, effort, and man hours that goes into making these shows work. When Sam’s finished, he leads her to the airport for a red eye, so they can spend most of their time off alone together.

On the short flight, Sam falls asleep with her head against him. Niall tries his hardest not to move the entire time, but he can’t stop himself from sneaking peeks at her. She sleeps the entire flight and only wakes up when the wheels hit the ground. Sam jerks awake and Niall rubs her back to calm her as they make quick work of grabbing their bags and heading to the place Niall’s rented.

Niall tosses their bags in the foyer. He’s ready to just head to bed, but Sam wants to look around the place. Even though he’s tired, Niall happily obliges to show her around the Airbnb. Sam’s eyes light up as she points out artwork that she likes. As the pair make their way to the bedroom, Sam can’t stop talking about the house.

 

Sam’s always loved interior design and this place looks like it’s pulled right out of the magazines she used to look at as a kid. “I can’t believe we get to stay here for the next three days.” Sam’s lips meet Niall’s. She’s always amazed at how much he does for her. The past week, he’s made her feel more beautiful and appreciated than she’s ever felt in her life.

The couple officially wake up around 11:30 am, but they spend most of the morning wrapped up in bed. The entire time that they’re making love and talking, Niall knows that he wants to ask her today. He doesn’t want to wait til the end of the trip. So when Niall hears Sam’s stomach growl around 2, he takes the chance to get her to the beach so he can ask. “You hungry? I was thinking I’d go grab us something and come back.”

“I’m starving,” Sam smiles, kissing him, “That sounds perfect.”

Niall heads off to grab the food and Sam utilizes the time to take a quick shower and then slides into a few of the items Kelsea helped her pick out. She tosses a black dress with high slits on over top.

She then sets about getting the suitcases upstairs and putting away their clothes in the huge closet when she hears Niall call up to her. “I’m in the bedroom!” she yells back before hearing him bound up the stairs.

Niall has to take a minute to fully take in the sight before him. All he can say is “You look gorgeous.” Sam’s smile reaches the corners of her cheeks as she kisses him in return. Niall still can’t believe that he’s this lucky to be here with Sam.

“I got the food for us,” Niall tells her as he takes her hand and they head down the stairs. He grabs the bag of food and they head down to the private beach. The table is already set, so the two can sit down and enjoy their food.

The wind hits Sam from the back, causing her hair to wave all around her face and getting into her food. Niall can’t stop smiling at her laughter as she tries her hardest to eat without getting hair all in her food.

“Hey Sam.” Niall says, softly. He knows it has to happen now. HIs heart is about to burst if he waits any longer. “I really like you.”

Sam meets his eyes and giggles. “Well, I would like to think you do after we’ve been seeing each other.” She jokes but then adds, “I really like you too.”

Niall clears his throat, hoping that he has nothing to worry about, but feeling scared regardless. “Well, about that. We have been seeing each other a lot. And I really like you. Only you, really. Do you want to be exclusive?”

“Of course!” Sam says, almost immediately. She knew from their first kiss that she was all his. This feels more like a formality at this point, but she’s still excited to know that he feels the same way she does.

Niall feels calm for the first time in three weeks. “Thank God.” He laughs nervously as he moves to kiss his girlfriend. “I was kind of scared you’d say no.”

Sam giggles, “Niall, I literally travelled with you alone for a three day vacation. That’s kind of girlfriend level anyway. You had no reason to worry.”

“Fair enough,” Niall laughs. “Guess I have to call Luke now.”

Sam gives him a confused look, “Is that really your first thought after making me your girlfriend? That you have to call Luke?”

Niall nods as he grabs his phone, “He’s been up my ass about doing it since the first kiss. Told me I should have just followed you to Chicago and asked you out properly. Then told me I was dumb for not doing it when I did fly to you. Practically cursed me out when we slept together and hadn’t.” Niall shakes his head, “Honestly, he told me if I didn’t do it soon, he’d come here and kick my ass for not treating you right.”

“Wait, so does Luke know everything that’s happened between us…?” Sam asks, wondering just how much Luke knows. He clearly knows they’ve slept together. Niall clears his throat as he’s honest with her, “Basically… I mean, definitely no play by play, but he’s the one I’ve kind of confided in about us. He understands how I feel about you since he’s kind of seen it all unfold and I trusted him to help me figure out how to do all of this… I’ve just tried not to rush things but I also didn’t want to go so slow you thought I didn’t like you.”

Sam bites her lip as she thinks about how cute it is that a guy who she now considers a friend cares enough about her to make sure that she’s being treated well and that the guy who is now her boyfriend cared enough about treating her right that he needed to get advice. “Okay, let’s call him.”

Niall taps his friend’s number quickly and Luke appears on the screen. Sam moves behind Niall and wraps her arm around his shoulders, “Hey Luke. Niall wanted to call and tell you that he finally made me an honest woman and asked me out officially.”

The phone hits the table and they only hear, “Thank fucking god. Finally!” on the other end. Sam giggles as Luke comes back in frame, “Sam, trust me. I told him to do this weeks ago. It’s all his fault he waited til now. Not mine.”

Sam laughs, “There’s no hard feelings here, Luke. I know you had my back.” She kisses NIall’s cheek, “I’m gonna head back to the airbnb. Come up when you’re done talking to him?” She waits until she’s out of frame to let him know that he needs to hurry and pulls up the slit in her dress, giving him a preview of what she has on underneath.

Luke can see from Niall’s face what is about to go down. “Don’t worry, I can hear all about how you asked her later. Bye Niall.” Luke laughs as he hangs up, glad the two of his friends seem to be on a good page.

Niall catches up to Sam before she’s even inside the house as his lips crash into hers. “Luke can wait.”


	12. Return of Renee

After the Asian leg of tour, the whole crew has another two weeks off before they have to head to South America. Sam was planning to go back home, but when Niall suggested that she come to London with him, it was hard for her to refuse.

She knew from her last two week trip home that it quickly became boring. She loved seeing her family and friends, but they were either with their families or at work for most of the time. Plus, she hasn’t seen Luke in a couple weeks and she only started to realize during her and Niall’s trip to the Gili Islands how close they were.

Sam’s never found it easy to make friends and she mostly assumed that it was a friendship of convenience: they all hung out with her because Sam was on tour and they pitied her for knowing nobody. Yet, after realizing that Niall genuinely likes her and now that Luke cared enough about her to make sure that Niall treated her well, she feels much more comfortable in their friendship.

Niall and Sam arrive back in London pretty early in the morning. They head to Niall’s place and Luke is asleep on the couch with some welcome home balloons and flowers laying on the table.

Niall grabs a blanket and covers Luke. “God, I knew I should have told him when our flight was. I guess he stayed here all night so he could greet us.”

Sam giggles as her and Niall silently make their way to the kitchen. They both slept on the plane over, so Niall makes them coffee while Sam sits on his barstools. “Does he always do that when you come home?”

Niall shakes his head, “Probably just did it because you were gonna be here too. He loves you, you know.” Sam smiles as she adds creamer and sugar to her coffee. “I can’t blame him, I am pretty amazing.”

Niall laughs and kisses her, “I have to agree there.” His kiss lingers on her lips as their coffee cups end up abandoned. Sam pushes her forehead against his as a devilish laugh comes from her. “Although… I’m probably not that amazing…” Sam tells Niall the plan she thought of and he agrees almost instantly.

They silently make their way back to the living room and Niall slams the door loud enough to wake his friend up as he pushes Sam up against the couch. “Been wanting to fuck you the entire plane ride,” He says, loud enough that he knows Luke can hear. He places Sam on the arm of the couch as he paws at her waist. They both have no plans to get naked, but definitely want to mess with Luke a bit.

Sam plays it up, telling Niall that she’s already wet for him and that she wants him to fuck her as hard as he did backstage in Tokyo before he went on. Every time one of them is about to break and start laughing, they crash their lips into the other to stifle it.

Finally, Niall pushes Sam over the arm of the couch, directly onto Luke. Sam gives her best shocked look as she jumps up. “Luke!! What are you doing here?!” The look Luke is giving them is priceless. He’s heard about their escapades from Niall, but it was always a concept. He never planned on having Sam flung on top of him or have to hear their dirty talk.

Seeing Luke’s face really sends Niall over the edge and he can’t stop himself from laughing. “God, we got you good.”

Luke’s face quickly turns to disgust as he throws a pillow at one of his oldest friends, “God, you’re a twat!” Sam laughs and throws her arms around Luke, “Sorry, we think it’s sweet you were here waiting for us. We just wanted to have a bit of fun is all.”

“Yeah, yeah. You lot have scarred me for life though, now. Hope you’re happy.”

The majority of their first week is spent doing mundane things. Niall and Sam go grocery shopping together, hang out with Luke, and head out at night so Niall can introduce his London friends to his girl.

It isn’t until that Saturday when the subject of Matt finally comes up. Sam was curious about why he wasn’t around, but didn’t want to bring it up since they had never exactly been on good terms. She only hears him mentioned due to Niall and Luke whisper-fighting about it in the kitchen as Sam walks in.

“Come on, he’s still our friend, man. I know you don’t want to make Sam uncomfortable, but he’s really starting to feel left out. If you’re done with him, you should at least tell him so. It’s kind of fucked to just keep completely ignoring his calls.”

Sam clears her throat and the two men jump. “Oh hey Sam…” They say, both blushing at being caught. “Niall… I think Luke’s right. I know Matt’s your friend. I think we should hang out with him while we’re here. Once the tour starts back up again, you probably won’t get to see or talk to him much at all.”

It’s hard for Sam to encourage them to hang out with Matt, but the last thing she wants is for Matt to think that it’s her keeping him and Niall apart. Niall sighs, knowing that Sam and Luke are both right. He just wants to keep the peace, but he knows it’s not fair to Matt. “Alright, let me text him then. Get something set up…”

Matt’s eager to see Niall again. The past few weeks without him around have really hurt him. Niall is one of his closest friends, along with Luke. Now that he’s heard that him and Sam are going out, he feels bad that he tried so hard to keep them apart. He wants to make things right tonight by apologizing to Sam and Niall both.

When he shows up at their group’s favorite bar, the three of his friends are already there. Niall stands up when he approaches the table to hug him. Matt was scared that it would be hostile or Niall would tell him that he’s a prick and to never talk to them again. Instead, it feels just like they’re old friends. “I’m sorry, Ni. I know I was out of line… I didn’t know how much Sam meant to you. I know that’s not an excuse for how I acted towards her, but I am sorry… I regret being such a dick to you both.”

“Matt, Matt. It’s ok.” Niall sighs. “You know I love you, even when you’re being an asshole. But please, apologize to Sam yeah? And make it good, you really hurt her with all the nasty things you said. If she’s not singing your praises tonight, you didn’t apologize hard enough.”

Matt laughs, awestruck at how forgiving Niall is. “Of course, man.” Matt ends up next to Luke as Niall heads to the bar to get the four of them some drinks.

His back is turned and Matt and Luke both see Renee enter and make a beeline for Niall. They’re both too slow to warn him, so Niall turns around and immediately drops the four glasses he was trying to carry at once. His eyes meet the girl who once completely shattered his heart.

“Niall, we need to talk.” Niall’s mouth dries up as he starts to piece together what he’s seeing. Did Matt plan this? How on earth did she know he’d be here tonight. His eyes meet Matt’s and are throwing daggers at him.

“Niall, please.” Renee puts her hand on his arm and Niall flinches, jumping back from the shock. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Please, Ni…. Please.” Renee’s eyes are basically begging him to. He remembers all the times she gave him that look and he caved: when she wanted him to go see some romantic comedy with her or when she begged him to get them tickets to see the Harry Potter play.

Just as he did back then, he caves once again. “Alright, if it’s important.” He seems Sam’s turned in the booth to look at them but he can’t meet her eyes as his ex leads him to a quiet place in the back.

“What’s this about?” Niall asks as soon as they sit down. He doesn’t want to spend more time with her than he has to.

Renee sighs and looks at him for the first time in over a year. His face has matured and the darker brunette color of his hair helps bring out his eyes. She smiles, despite of herself, as she thinks about all the times his eyes would meet hers and be full of laughter. It gives her the courage she needs to tell him, “I listened to your album.”

Niall sits back, a bit shocked. Is this really that important? He doesn’t waste any time asking her, “So?”

Renee leans forward and reaches for his hands, which Niall snatches away. She chews on the inside of her cheek as she gets up the courage to tell him, “So, I’ve been avoiding you this whole time. I’d refused to listen to the album. I was wanting so hard to get over you and move on. Then I happened to give it a listen. It made me remember how amazing you were and how amazing we were together and it made me realize that I shouldn’t have run. I want to be with you, Ni. Can you please give me another chance?”

Niall shakes his head as soon as the words come out of her mouth. “No, I can’t. I’ve gotten over you, Renee. I’m here with my new girlfriend tonight.” As he says it, he knows it’s the truth. It seems like he spent forever trying to get over the girl in front of him. In fact, if this happened 2 months ago, he might have taken her back before she even finished her apology. But now, after getting to know Sam, he knows that he’s completely over Renee. What they had can never measure up to what he has now.

Renee takes a look back at the booth, where Sam is questioning Niall’s friends about her, trying to figure out if she should be worried. Renee takes in the sight of the girl that her ex has moved on with. It’s definitely far from Niall’s type, but she also knows that Niall wasn’t her type when they first got together. When you meet the right person, it doesn’t really matter what they look like.

She turns back to Niall as she asks. “Is it serious?” Niall nods, “I love her.” He isn’t just saying that to prove anything to Renee. He knows he loves Sam. He also knows that they’ve only been officially together two weeks, so he has no plans to tell her anytime soon.

Renee nods and gets up and heads to the booth. Niall watches her walk away as he remembers the last time they talked. The time that he came home to London after performing This Town at some radio shows in America. He hurried home to surprise his girlfriend at the time to find his flat completely cleared out of any of her belongings.

When he called her, all he heard was “sorry”s and “I didn’t want to do this over the phone”s as she explained that she just wasn’t happy with him and hadn’t been for a while. That it wasn’t until he left that she felt like she could finally breathe again. So she moved out but was planning to be back when he was scheduled to be home to end it officially. Of course, since he was a dumbass who came home early to surprise her, she wasn’t there. She also refused to come over since there was no reason to once he knew it was over.

All Sam sees is her boyfriend watching his ex walk toward her when Renee reaches her booth. She turns to the girl in it, “Can I talk to you? I’ll buy you a drink?” Sam looks like a deer caught in headlights and neither Luke nor Matt know what to do.

“Um, sure…” Sam says, carefully. She’s out of the booth the same time Niall comes back. The two share a look of confusion as Sam follows her boyfriend’s ex to the bar.

“What do you drink?” Renee asks as she hops on one of the barstools.

“Cranberry Vodka,” Sam responds as she leans against the bar. She takes in the tall, gorgeous brunette next to her. She can see why Niall liked her. The two of them are probably complete opposites. If they were here as friends, Renee would be the one getting hit on and Sam would be the one guys talked to to see if they had a shot with Renee.

Renee orders her one and gives the bartender her card. “So, you and Niall?” She asks and Sam nods as a response. Sam’s not sure how much information to give Renee. They’re definitely not friends and she’s not sure if Renee is about to make her life hell.

“He’s a great guy… I don’t really know anything about your relationship, but I just wanted to let you know that you’re a lucky girl. Don’t take him for granted like I did… trust me, the last thing you want is to be at home listening to songs about how much he loved you and realizing too late that you lost the love of your life.”

Sam sighs, feeling completely awkward, but also a bit sad for the girl in front of her. It can’t be easy to be in this position, but she also knows that it’s weird of her to show up a year later, out of the blue, to try to win him back. “Don’t worry, I have no plans to take him for granted or end things with him.” Sam says, probably a bit more curtly than she means to.

Renee doesn’t have time to respond to that because the bar is filled with Niall’s voice as he pushes Matt against the pub’s table. “You fucking called her, I know it!” He screams at him, his fists curled into Matt’s shirt. It takes everything in him to not punch him right there.

“Niall!” both Sam and Renee scream, trying to get a hold of the situation. 

\---

The last night’s escapades are all over the news. There’s a lot that happened in the bar that night, but all the media picks up is a picture of Niall standing next to Renee as he’s got Matt against the table. All the gossip twitters talk about is how the two much be back on since they’ve been seen together for the first time in a year. Niall’s always been low-key and stayed out of drama, so him showing up with his ex and getting into a bar fight with his friend made the celebrity news sites go wild.

After the group were all kicked out of the bar, Niall and Sam went to his flat and Luke took Matt back to his. Renee ran out of the bar almost as quickly as she came back into Niall’s life.

Luke listened to Matt’s story and then went to Renee’s house and all three of them made their way to Niall’s flat. When Niall opened his door, the last people he was expecting to see were his ex and the guy he almost beat the shit out of the day before.

He groans, “God, do we have to do this now?”

Luke nods, “Trust me, man…” Niall sighs and the party heads to Niall’s oversized couch. Sam sits next to Niall, holding his hand and rubbing her thumb along his palm. She knows this is probably hard for him, but she wants him to know that she’s here for him the entire time.

Renee starts, “Matt didn’t call me… The only reason I’m here is to tell you that. We used to go to that bar all the time. After I listened to your album, I looked at your tour dates and knew you had last week and this one off. I’ve been going to there every night hoping to run into you….” She sighs, “I just needed to tell you what I did last night and try to see if there was any chance of us reuniting.”

Sam’s grip on Niall’s hand tightens. They had no chance to talk about yesterday, so this is the first time she’s hearing of Renee trying to get back with him. Niall discreetly gives her three squeezes, their symbol that it’s okay and they can talk later.

Renee looks at the three men while avoiding Sam’s eyes. “I’m going to go now… Luke just wanted me to verify it wasn’t Matt who told me you guys were going to be there.” She grabs her stuff and leaves quickly, not wanting to relive any part of the night before more than she has to.

Niall meets Matt’s eyes for the first time as he sighs. “It wasn’t you?” Matt shakes his head, “Of course it wasn’t. I was there when she left you, I know how much that crushed you. I would never put her back in your life in any aspect. I know I’ve been shit about you two,” he motions to the couple sitting on the couch, “but I would never stoop so low to bring her around.”

Niall sighs and sits up, “Promise?” He wants to believe him, but it’s hard. Matt nods, “Swear.” He moves across the couch in one swift motion and hugs Niall. “I’m sorry that I was ever so shitty you thought I’d do that.” When he pulls away, he turns to Sam. “Speaking of… I wanted to apologize. I know I was shit to you pretty much the entire time you’ve known me. I don’t really have any excuse for it…”

Sam sighs, “It’s okay, Matt… You’re not the first guy I’ve dealt with who makes everything about my weight and you probably won’t be the last.” Matt shakes his head, “No, it’s not okay. It’s shitty of me to have done that and I should have known better. I don’t know if anything I say can truly be enough to make up for how I acted, but you don’t need to accept that I treated you that way.”

Tears spring to Sam’s eyes. She’s always been so used to forgiving guys who do this to her. She always just shrugged it off and she expected that his apology was just something he said so Niall would let him back in his life. But hearing him apologize like this makes her realize that he does actually mean it. She nods and tries not to cry, “Well, you’re forgiven.” Sam doesn’t think that they will ever be friends, but it’s nice that he at least recognizes how badly he treated her and apologized.

Niall wraps his arm around his girl’s waist as he pulls her close. She leans into his chest and uses the opportunity to wipe a few stray tears from her eyes. Niall turns to his friends, “Well, if that’s all, I think maybe we can plan something for later? I’d like some time alone with Sam. I think we have some stuff to discuss about last night too.”

Luke and Matt both hug him and tell him to call them when he’s ready and leave. Niall turns to Sam and sighs, “So… here’s what happened.” Niall tells her about everything Renee said to him. He doesn’t want to keep any secrets from her or make her think that he’s hiding it.

Sam bites her lip, “How did it feel… your ex coming back into your life like that?” Most of their early friendship was built on Niall talking about how he didn’t think he was fully over her. It’s hard to not be scared that he’ll regret not going back to Renee.

“I didn’t feel anything… Honestly, if she’d done that before the tour started, I think I would have been ecstatic, you know? But now… I have you. You make me happier than I’ve been since things ended with Renee and honestly, you probably make me happier than I ever was while in that relationship. You don’t have to worry, ok?” Niall says, pulling Sam to his lips. He places soft, tender kisses on her lips, wanting nothing more than for her to believe him.

Sam nods against him, “You know, she told me that I was lucky to be with you… That you’re a great guy. I have to agree with her.”

Niall laughs and runs his fingers through her hair, “I promise, the only reason why she thinks you’re the lucky one is because she doesn’t know you. If she did, she’d know that I’m the luckiest guy in the entire world.”

Sam reaches down to kiss him again and for half an hour, they stay in their own little world curled up on the couch. It’s only after that that Niall goes to grab his phone. He usually turns it off after a night of drinking, so his notifications don’t wake him up early.

“Oh fuck.” He has no less than 10 messages from his publicist about what happened the night before. If that’s not bad enough, everyone’s recognized Renee in the photos and they’re convinced that he’s back with her.

“What is it?” Sam asks, worried about her boyfriend’s face suddenly going white. When he explains what the news is saying, Sam bites her lip, worried. It’s bad enough they had to live this, but dealing with fans thinking that her boyfriend is with another girl? She doesn’t know if she could live having to deal with that.

Niall sighs. “I never comment on my personal life…” He tells her, rather lamely. Sam opens her mouth to protest. She doesn’t care if he tells the world about her, but she sure as hell isn’t going to sit by while everyone thinks he’s with his ex. Before she can, Niall grabs her hand, “But I will for this. If it’s important to you.”

Sam closes her mouth and nods. “It is important… Because if there’s any leak about us, I don’t want people thinking I’m a cheater or a homewrecker or whatever.”

Niall bites his lip. He doesn’t plan on there being any leak about them. He’s gotten pretty good over the years at fans only knowing what he wants them to know. But he nods, “Then I’ll make a statement.”

He heads to the bedroom and spends a few hours on the phone with his agent and his publicist. They work on spinning the story while helping Niall craft a tweet that sounds genuine and refutes his relationship status.

Sam’s phone goes off with the notification that Niall tweeted. “Hey guys ! You know I don’t comment on my personal life , but thought I should mention that I just happened to run into Renee last night. There’s no hard feelings between us, but I’m still completely single!”

Sam sighs. She didn’t expect to be hurt by his last few words, but it does sting. Sam knows things are different, but she can’t help but feel the same way she did when guys would refuse to introduce her to their friends and pretend they didn’t know her if they ran into each other in public.

Niall comes out of the bedroom and Sam works on throwing on her brave face. Niall crashes his lips into hers as he lays down on top of her. “I’m so sorry that took longer than I planned. I’m all yours now.” Sam tries to forget how much his tweet hurt her as she enjoys the time she has with Niall.


	13. Insecure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is potentially triggering and deals with weight issues, disordered eating/ED behavior, and a breakdown.

Even though she’s supposed to be enjoying her time off with Niall, Sam finds herself sneaking off on her own to check Twitter.

Ever since the video of the fight emerged, Sam’s been fixated on watching it. She’s always known that she’s a bigger girl, but seeing herself in a video was a whole new experience.

She’s mostly seen herself in the mirror. She usually twists and turns her body, finding the angles she likes herself in. But on a video where she wasn’t expecting to be filmed, her body looks huge.

It’s been years since Sam has found herself so upset about her body, but seeing how large she looks next to Renee is almost a punch in the gut.

She finds herself replaying the video every time she has a chance alone. She turns the volume down so Niall won’t hear her as she focuses on herself in the corner and almost cries every time as the person filming zooms in on her as they noticed Renee.

Suddenly, the curves she forced herself to love after years of hating and self doubt lose their appeal. It doesn’t help that the video has gotten around to Niall’s fans. Of course, nobody thinks that her and Niall are together since she’s clearly not his type. But the comments that sting the most are the ones who joke that she must be Matt’s girlfriend because he’s obviously a terrible person and got stuck dating the fat chick.

These are the comments she finds burn themselves in the back of her mind. Every time her eyes close, she sees the comments joking about her weight or about her presence somehow being a punishment for pissing off the guy they’re a fan of.

When she’s with Niall, she tries her hardest to ignore the persisting feeling of not being good enough. She suggests to him that they work out together. Sam just wants to lose the weight now and be good enough for people to think that she deserves to be with Niall.

Niall doesn’t see the change that happens right before his eyes. The light in Sam’s eyes seem to dim as she’s constantly worried about the way she looks. He gets them in with Jarvis, his trainer, while they’re in London.

Sam knew she was out of shape, but after she’s practically heaving after five minutes on the elliptical in the gym, she’s embarrassed she’s gotten to this point.

Over the next few weeks, she finds herself skipping meals. On the days that they have a show, it’s easy. She never had much time to eat anyway, so skipping it actually helps her keep her stress under control.

On their days off, Sam naturally falls back into her old habits to hide the fact that she’s not eating. She orders smaller portions when she’s out with Niall and moves the food around the plate as she talks. She takes a few bites here and there; enough to throw off any suspicion, not that Niall has any.

For Niall, things seem just as they normally do. Sam suggested working out and he just enjoys having more time to spend with her. His feelings for her have strengthened in their time back on the road.

Sam’s been ignoring the scale since she’s started trying to get in shape. She’s never been a fan of it, but she enjoys watching herself slim down in the mirror each day. The workout clothes she purchased in London already feel loose on her. She looks in the mirror and she swears she can see her stomach shrinking.

After a great show in Rio de Janeiro, Sam finally decides to take the chance. She’s been feeling more confident and wants to know what the new number is. She steps on the scale after she gets out of the shower.

That can’t be right. She steps off and then back on. She has somehow gained five pounds since she last weighed herself. She’s been working out at night after shows, when her body is dragging from exhaustion. She’s not eaten more than a few bites in weeks. And she’s gained weight.

“What the fuck?” Sam screams, despite herself. She kicks the scale and falls to the floor, crying from how worthless she feels.

Niall hears his girlfriend scream from the bathroom. “Babe?!” He rushes to check on her, almost tripping on the end of the bed on his way. “Are you ok?” He opens the door to find her on the floor, naked and crying.

“Sam…” he crouches down next to her and wraps his arms around her body, “are you ok? What happened?”

“I fucking gained weight.” She whispers in his chest. “I’ve been working out with you every day and I’m fatter than when I started.”

Niall’s so confused. He knows she’s been working out with him, but he didn’t think she was that invested in losing weight. “I mean, muscle weighs more than fat. You’re probably just getting toned.”

Sam pushes him away, “I don’t care Niall! I don’t want the scale to say…. that number. I want it to be less, I don’t care if it’s muscle weight or fat weight, I want it gone!”

Niall sighs, “Come on, I don’t understand where this is coming from. You’ve never seemed to want to lose weight before….” Sam doesn’t say anything and he wraps his arms around her again, “talk to me…”

“You don’t understand, Niall. You’ll never be able to understand. You realize I weigh so much more than you right? That your fans don’t even consider me an option for you to date. The media thinks you’re shagging your assistant when you’re out but they see me literally at a bar with you and it’s not even considered because I’m fat.”

“Your weight doesn’t matter…” Niall tries to explain, again. It’s not an issue to him.

This time, Sam really pushes him away as she stands up. “But it does matter, Niall! It’s a part of me! Do you know what it’s like to grow up fat? To deal with hearing your best friend joking about there being an earthquake because you came running into her room? To get the largest size from stores and have it still not fit? To hear jokes poked at you time and time again about how nobody could ever love you because you’re fat? That’s my fucking life, Niall. It matters.”

“I-I’m sorry, Sam…” Niall sighs, “I didn’t mean it like that… I just like you as you are.”

Sam sighs, running her hands through her wet hair. “I haven’t been this way in years, Niall. But seeing comments online about me… it’s thrown me right back into that insecure teenager. And that’s before they even know we’re a thing. I can’t do this. I can’t constantly feel like I’m not good enough.”

“But you are,” Niall falters over his words. His eyes are full of sorrow as he tries to get her to change her mind. He’s been here before, of course. The attention from fans being too much for girls he’s seeing. But he wants it to not be an issue this time.

“I’m sorry, Niall. I just can’t deal with feeling this way any longer.” Sam finally looks up at him and she can see the pain in his eyes. She didn’t think it’d be possible to see someone’s heart break, but it’s happening right in front of her.

Sam wishes it could be another way, but it can’t. She’s not sure if it’s written all over her face that her heart is breaking as she walks away from the best relationship she’s ever had. Niall remains on the bathroom floor as she gets dressed and gathers her items and heads back to her hotel room. He’s too shocked and broken to watch the girl he loves walk out of his life.


	14. Sam's Day Off

Niall has a hard time sleeping that night and, since they have the following day off, he knocks on Sam’s door, hoping that she changed her mind over the night.

It takes Sam a while to pull her exhausted body off the bed. She spent most of the night crying, a bit over her body but mostly over Niall. She’s embarrassed she allowed herself to be so raw with him the night before, even if it was what she was feeling.

When she opens the door, Niall can see her eyes rimmed red from crying. “Oh Sam.” He wraps his arms around her and pulls her to his chest. “I wish I could keep you safe forever.” He whispers as he holds onto her.

Sam lets herself enjoy the time in his arms, even though she knows that she was the most honest with herself, and him, last night. She pulls away to look at him and Niall leans down and places small kisses along her forehead and cheeks. He puts his forehead against hers as he squeezes his eyes shut. “Please don’t tell me it’s over.”

Sam closes her eyes, unable to look at him. “Niall.. I just don’t think I can handle all of this.”

When she opens her eyes, she sees Niall’s blue ones piercing into her as he nods. He wants to fight, but he knows being with him probably hurts her more than ending it. He accepts her decision, even if he fucking hates it. “Okay. I’ll leave you alone then.” Niall sighs, hanging out just a second more, hoping that she’ll change her mind. But she doesn’t.

As he walks out the door, he can’t stop himself from adding, “you know, I trusted that you wouldn’t break my heart….” he takes a deep breath as he slowly closes the door, admitting that things are over between them.

The next few weeks past slowly for both of them. Niall only sees Sam a few minutes a day when she comes and gets him for his meet and greets. When they were together, he loved doing dumb things with fans just to catch her laugh out of the corner of his eye. He’d dance with fans just to see her lights sparkle as she tried to cover her laugh and remain professional.

Now, he can hardly get her to look at him. She’s always staring at the ipad, trying her hardest to not have her heart break every time she sees him and knows that it can’t work between them.

Once they start the North American leg, Niall has no chance to spending time with her off work. After the shows, he hangs out with the band and Maren before heading onto their buses and traveling to the next destination. He keeps an eye out for her, hoping she’ll come into the bar since he knows that she’s friends with most of the crew and the band. Surely, someone would invite her. But she never comes by.

Sam hits a low point in those few weeks. She wakes up, goes to work, then goes to the crew bus and sleeps until she has to be at work the next day. On her days off, she’ll stay in bed the whole day, refusing to leave.

Kevin can tell that she’s slipping. Her work remains steady, but she constantly looks upset lately. He sighs when she comes into the venue looking completely depressed. “Sam, come here for a second.”

She heads over to him, worried that he’s going to tell her that this isn’t working out. She trusts Niall not to completely fuck over her life, but she has been on edge, wondering if he’ll cut her because she broke up with him.

Kevin puts his hand on his shoulder, “please please please take a day off, ok? And not just lay around the bus. Go do something, you really need it.”

“But I’d prefer to-“ she gets cut off by Kevin, who shakes his head, “I don’t care. You’re off. I can handle this myself for one day. Go to a movie, a museum, Shopping, I don’t care. I don’t want to see you again until the next show.”

He takes the iPad from her and Sam thinks about protesting again, but realizes it’s hopeless. She’s seen Kevin’s stubbornness before and she does not want to be on the other end of it. “Alright, thank you Kevin.”

Sam googles things in Nashville to do and ends up heading into the city for the day. When Kevin comes in to get Niall to soundcheck, he’s shocked. He’s been used to seeing Sam for the few minutes a day.

“Where’s Sam?” He asks, worried that she’s quit and ran off. Even though Niall has only seen her for a few minutes, he’s enjoyed at least seeing her and knowing she’s doing well. He’s not ready to completely lose her yet.

“I’ve given her the day off, she’ll be back in Cincinnati.” Kevin says, not really paying attention to the shock Niall had gone through at not seeing her. Kevin’s aware something went down between them and he’s sure that’s the reason Sam’s been so distant lately. But he’s also aware that any relationship with Niall is against the rules and what he doesn’t officially know can’t be used against her so he keeps his mouth shut.

Sam tries her hardest to enjoy her day off, but she misses Niall too much. All she can think about is if he were here, he’d probably have her laughing the entire time. He’d be pulling her into the sports stores as she rolled her eyes and told him he owed her time in Torrid. He’d gladly walk into the store with her and head straight to the intimates section, asking her which ones she wanted and asking if he could buy her some.

She tries to go into a movie, thinking that it would distract her, but instead she spends the entire time thinking how much more she’d enjoy it if Niall were here.

The past few weeks, she’s spent most of it keeping herself distracted with work. She realizes now that she probably stayed on the bus most of her days off because the bus didn’t remind her of him.

That’s how she ends up at a showing of Ant Man and the Wasp silently sobbing. It’s just now hitting her how much she misses him. She sneaks her phone out and looks at the time, realizing that Niall is probably just about to finish soundcheck, and thinks about texting him. Her fingers hover over their text thread, the last text from him being one he sent her when he was drunk a few nights before telling her that the bartender made him a Tequila Sunrise when he told him to surprise him and it reminded him of her.

Sam bites her lip, wondering if she can really do this, just get over the fact that she’ll probably have to deal with rude comments all her life. If being with him is worth the insecurities she’s been struggling with since the night in London.

She doesn’t know. That’s the issue. It’s not a clear cut yes she can handle it. She remembers the night in San Janeiro where Niall told her he trusted her not to break his heart. The last thing she wants to do is bring him back in if she’s not sure she can. Sam puts her phone back in her pocket and tries her hardest to enjoy her day out.


	15. Birthday

Niall sees the changes in Sam after her day off. During meet and greets, she no longer stares at her iPad. He catches her laughing at him once and he tries his hardest to get her to do it again until she’s laughing with almost every fan.

He wants so bad to talk to her, but there’s never enough time in her carefully planned day and he doesn’t want to do it over text. He also is kind of hoping she comes to him instead. Niall’s scared if he tries to go to her, she won’t be ready and will run away.

He’s lost in his thoughts when his phone goes off. Luke is trying to FaceTime him. Niall knows it’s wrong, but he actually hasn’t mentioned to him that Sam and him are no longer together. He kept hoping she’d be the one to tell him, but he hasn’t caught on.

Niall puts on his best everything’s great smile as he answers, “hey Luke, what’s going on?”

“Well, Sam just told me something really interesting…” Niall’s heart drops, he knows this is the point where he has to try to explain why he hasn’t mentioned to his best friend that he got dumped. Except Luke continues, “Her Birthday is next week. Did she tell you?!”

“What no!!” Niall exclaims, sitting up a bit. He can’t believe he didn’t realize her birthday was coming up. “Thank god she told you…. we have to do something for it.”

“Exactly what I was thinking,” Luke responds, “I’m definitely going to have to come. I can’t miss my best friends birthday.”

Niall clears his throat, “um your best friend’s birthday is in September.” He reminds him.

“Come on, Nialler. You’ve been replaced, don’t be jealous.”

Niall laughs and him and Luke start out on planning something for Sam.

They’ve got two shows in LA back to back with the first show coinciding with Sam’s birthday. Even though they’ve got the tour buses, Niall prefers to spend the days in LA sleeping in his own bed at his house. He flies all of Sam’s family and friends in on the night before and puts them up in a hotel. The morning before Niall has to be at the show, Kelsea and Luke meet him at his house to get his keys. Mully plans to help them decorate and get things set up in the backyard for a surprise party after the show.

Niall’s jittery the entire day. Every time he gets a glimpse of Sam, he’s worried that she can read through the look on his face to know that he’s got something big planned for her.

Even though he’s never been good at keeping secrets and he feels like he’s going to burst, Niall is able to keep it a secret from Sam. After the show, when he’s showered and made sure he looks good enough to meet all of Sam’s family and friends for the first time, he goes to find her.

She’s sitting in one of the chairs in the arena and doesn’t notice Niall at first. It’s not until he sits beside her than she looks up. “Oh, Niall. I thought you’d have headed out already.”

It’s still hard for Sam to be this close to him and not be able to kiss him. She’s been trying to avoid him as much as she can until she’s sure that she can handle everything that comes with dating him. He smiles, “I know I usually do… but I just hoped maybe we could talk?”

Sam nods and shuts down her iPad. Being this close to him makes her realize that she wants this. She wants to be with him and she shouldn’t give up someone who makes her happy because of things outside of either of their control. She smiles at him, “I’m actually practically done… let me just return this and we can go somewhere.”

Niall was scared it’d take a lot of convincing to get her to agree, but she does easily. He can’t help the smile that forms on his face as he helps her into his car. He’s nervous and fiddles with the radio on the way to his house, but Sam bites her lip as she turns it off and starts, “I’ve missed you, Niall.”

Niall’s eyes go wide in shock as he turns to her before his face softens. “I’ve missed you too, so much…” He reaches his hand across the center console and she takes it in hers. Sam smiles and tries to enjoy the ride as she tells him, “I’m sorry I freaked out. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and I’m going to work on getting past my insecurities. I think you and our relationship is worth it.”

Niall pulls in front of his house and cuts his lights as he leans over and kisses her. This isn’t what he expected from tonight, but he’s not going to take the chance that she’ll change her mind.

Sam’s fingers are in his hair as she’s pushed back against the window of the passenger side of his car. Niall’s leaned over the center console, which is poking him in the stomach and making it uncomfortable for him.

Sam can’t stop herself from giggling at the way Niall keeps rearranging his body, trying to get comfortable. “Come on, we can head inside? Your bed is probably more comfortable than this car.”

Niall groans but nods. He knows her family is waiting for them and he knows once they go inside, they’re definitely not headed to the bedroom. He gets out of the car and gets her door for her as well.

She immediately takes his hand as they work their way through his gate. This is Sam’s first time visiting his LA home, so she stays close to him as she asks, “where’s the bedroom?”

Niall smiles as he leads her through the house. “Here we are,” he opens the door to his backyard and Sam’s immediately greeted by her friends and family. It takes her a second to process that she’s seeing her parents, her friends from school, and even Luke. Her eyes tear up as she looks at the lights around Niall’s massive backyard and the blown up pictures of her above a birthday cake.

“Niall….” she looks over at him and she can’t believe he did this for her. “What is this?”

Niall smiles sheepishly, “you told Luke your birthday was today… I had just wanted to do something special.”

Sam’s bright eyes are wide as she asks, “even… even though we weren’t talking?”

Niall shrugs, “I wanted you to have a good birthday regardless. You mean so much to me, I just wanted you to be happy.”

The tears that have been threatening to spill now make their way down her cheeks as she hugs him. She can’t believe he did all of this for her.

Niall keeps his hand on the small of her back as he pulls away. “I had Kelsea invite everyone she knew you’d want to see. If there’s anyone missing, that’s on her, not me.”

Sam laughs as she leans into him. She doesn’t want to kiss him in front of everyone, but she definitely wants to let him know that she appreciates what he’s done.

“Come on, let me introduce you to everyone that’s important to me then.” She takes his hand as she introduces him to her parents, her cousins, all of her friends and their families. Even though she’s surrounded by everyone she loves, it’s hard for her to keep her eyes off of Niall for long. It’s how she knows that she loves him and she’s happy she decided to give him the chance.


	16. Epilogue

Sam has a long way to go before she’s 100% confident and comfortable with everything surrounding dating Niall, but she no longer tries to run.

The tour ends and Niall takes her with him while he has a few other commitments before they get comfortable in London for a few weeks. Niall has suggested Sam’s services to a few of his friends who have tours starting. That, along with Kevin’s glowing review, has her another job offer: helping to manage Shawn Mendes’ tour.

But for now, they have a few weeks off and spend it enjoying each other’s company. They spend most of it cuddling on Niall’s too large couch while ordering food in most days. They go out some nights with Luke and Matt, who had apologized to Sam. They’ve worked on having a good relationship, since Matt can tell that Sam’s not going anywhere soon.

As Sam falls asleep on his shoulder, Niall can’t help but think of what this tour has brought him. He feels comfortable with his musical abilities going into planning his second album, he’s no longer worried that he’ll put out music and nobody will buy it, and he found a girl who made him believe in love again when he felt it was impossible.

Neither of them knows what the future holds. Maybe they’ll be together forever or it could end a few months down the line. But they both agree not to worry about the future. They just enjoy their time together now.


End file.
